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do you know that UN married moms have more rights to their child than married moms

at least in all but two states (california and forgot other one)
meaning if a mom leaves the father of her child, he has the upper hand, and has custody until he goes to court to fight for his, and then he has to make a case that she is unfit to care for child (not easy)

so that is the best benefit from him not wanting to make a marriage committment.

just thought i would put that out there, see if anyone had more info on this
i am NOT knocking marriage at all, just an interesting outcome of NOT being married and having kids with a man. Someday i may get married to a wonderful man that is respectful and loving, but in my life right now, i am UN married, leaving him with our child and when i looked into rights-I have the upper hand by far! if unmarried (even if his name on birth certficte, the mother has the rights to child)

any thoughts?

 
fiatpax

Asked by fiatpax at 8:51 AM on Sep. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I have to agree on this one. A mother that is not married to the father of her children has it easier in custody situations all the way around.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 8:55 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • In most circumstances this is the best option, to keep the child with the mother. At the same time, some mom's are just as psycho and could care just as less as dad's normally would. (Dead beat dad's of course).
    Luckly, my children are with both of their parent's. I thank God that they have a stable household each day!!
    AtHomeMommy-3

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 8:57 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I think FL is the other one. I heard that in the radio one day while me and dh were driving. We weren't married yet but we had our son. I heard a lawyer said that dad's in Fl have no right if he's not married, they have to go to court to fight for their rights.
    sweetyazfl

    Answer by sweetyazfl at 8:54 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I guess I don't get your question and what being married has to do with anything. Any mom has rights to their child.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 9:28 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I am married with 3 kids, however my first DD has a different father i got preggo right out of highschool i was only 18 and since i wasnt married to him even thought he signed the birth certificate my lawyer said her has NO rights to our DD until he takes me to court which it doesnt matter he doesnt want her and my husband is the only father my DD knows and she loves him SO much :) BTW i live in TN.
    AWebber212

    Answer by AWebber212 at 8:57 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • How is it that a man is good enough to be the father of your baby, but not good enough to marry?
    When I left my ex husband, I took my 3 kids (4, 5, and 8) and moved. There was never an issue. When we went to court he got every other weekend, and that's it (and he wanted and fought for 50/50 split time) - which is much less time than I've heard of many unmarried dads getting. I live in NC.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:35 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • WOW!!!!
    CarolineDezon

    Answer by CarolineDezon at 10:05 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • IN THE STATE OF TENNESSEE WHICH IS WHERE A LIVE MY LAWYER SAID THAT BECAUSE MY DD WAS BORN OUT OF WEDLOCK THAT EVEN THO HER DAD SIGNED THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE THAT HE HAS NO RIGHT TO HER AND I HAVE FULL AND ALL CUSTODY OF HER UNTIL HE GOES TO COURT AND SIGNS A PARENTING PLAN AGREEMENT WITH THE JUDGE.
    AWebber212

    Answer by AWebber212 at 11:01 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • laws are crazy. lol
    americanadian25

    Answer by americanadian25 at 8:54 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • i was surprised by this when i made calls, very happy but surprised
    i think my man was told this because he used to threaten me with "if you do not like it, then get the f_ck out and go to your moms" after 8 times of this being screamed at me when he was angry and we were fighting (fighting is he yelling and me crying) after the eigth time and when i was tired of crying, i found that this was a d@mn good idea. i was scred that he could stop me since i would have to move more than a hour away, thought that since this is our childs home (she is three) that h would have upper hand, but no..I DO!
    funny how he does not yell this at me anymore, he must have seen on my face the las time he said this, that i was not scared by this, may have even seen me as calm when he said it.
    and i do have a journal that states (not horrible things) but bad enough, that shows he at least needs some parenting advice, or classes
    fiatpax

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 9:01 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

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