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4 Bumps

Would you keep her as a friend?

So this girl that I know is really somthing else....I have been friends with her for 10 years give or take...We have had many fights when we were younger over almost anything...Now that we are adults i just let little things go....We don't talk that much anymore and when we do I just end up getting mad...Why? Well, she is preganat and is a single mother...Her BF is in the pic but that is a long story...All she ends up doing is complaining about her problems and wanting me to tell her what to do....When I did give her advice She would respond with "You don't understand" or "you don't get it". I've given up and started to tell her I don't know what to tell you....But now I just get the feeling like she was a "poor you" from me....Should I stop and end the friendship? I'm just back and forth because how long we have been friends, even though it is not the best friendship...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Sep. 21, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • life it too short to have people in it who make you miserable
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 10:25 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • If you think she is truly in a bad spot, then I wouldn't end the friendship. She will likely need friends someday.

    You don't have to listen or try to help either. Well listen and say "uh-huh". But if your advice is falling on deaf ears, then save your breath. People don't make changes in their lives until they are ready... and prob while she is preg is not the time for other big changes.

    Sometimes instead of giving advice where she will get defensive and say "you don't understand", try asking questions. How did that make you feel? What would you tell your sister to do if she they had this problem?... That would be HER advice to HERSELF. Often when you do that someone will say out loud "I would tell her to leave" and have this revelation look on her face "Well that should be the advice you take then"
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 10:46 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I don't think this situation is a reason to end the friendship..sounds like she's just looking for help.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:26 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Maybe just limit contact with her. You said you don't talk to her much anyway. Maybe once she has the baby she will chill out?
    twinmama2five

    Answer by twinmama2five at 10:42 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • It sounds like she needs to grow up. I have ended friendships in similar situations. Sometimes people grow apart and need to move on. Sounds like it would be better for both of you.
    Good luck!
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 11:09 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • You shouldn't have to feel like you're running out of options with a friend..if you feel like everything is going in 1 ear & out the other whenever you talk with her about her issues & it feels like she's just dismissing you & following the same pattern all this time..then i say yes end the friend & let her know why..
    Lovelymee23

    Answer by Lovelymee23 at 12:09 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • yeah it is hard to let go of a long friendship but you should do what is best for you & find someone else to be friends with that respect you & listen to you
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 12:20 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Move on. After she has the baby, go see and see if she is more grown up. She sounds very childish and very moody.
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 2:01 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Misery loves company don't be her company. Tell her your sorry that she is feeling this way but you don't have all the anwers and she needs to work on her own problems
    rebelchickrocks

    Answer by rebelchickrocks at 4:44 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

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