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What's the best way to handle this

my son just started kindergarten. He comes home and explains his day, tells how he got into trouble for lying but then puts his hands on his ears when it comes time for me to talk to him about lying, he says he's done talking now and doesn't want to hear me.
Then he wants the computer or video games...I tell him he can't because he lied at school and refused to listen to me when I tried talking to him about it.
I get no help or support from his dad.
His teacher also complains about my son not listening to directions. I try talking to him but he always covers his ears and doesn't want to hear me or talk about it so I drop it and just ban the things he loves.
How do I get him to change? to care? he just shrugs things off like nothing is important.

 
wheresthewayout

Asked by wheresthewayout at 11:26 AM on Sep. 21, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 29 (39,885 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • How long has this been happening? I would take the video games and the computer away for now (not a threat) or play them with him. Interact more and find out what is really bothering him. Some times lying is just a way to get attention, so try to give him positive attention instead of negative.
    Mommy2Gabrielle

    Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 11:30 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • He is being rude and disrespectful. Time in his empty room until he is ready to listen would be my first step. I might also get creative and knock two ball out of the park at the same time. I would possibly tell him that we were going to his favorite place for dinner, talk it up and make it exciting. Then when it comes time to leave I would simply tell him "Oh, well I was lying about that. We aren't going anywhere." Then of course when he goes into his tirade, I would then tell him, "Oh I am not listening" put my hands over my ears and let him have at a fit. Once he was calmed down I would then remind him how rude and disrectful I was being, they way he is afterschool. Remind him of the way he felt and that you feel that way too when he is disrespectful. As a loving family we don't want to make eachother feel that way.
    mom2queenie2004

    Answer by mom2queenie2004 at 3:07 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • You drop the conversation and take away his "things" ? how does that work? I can understand why he's putting his hands over his ears and not paying any attention to you. And I know this didn't just start so you have to be a little more assertive in your approach to your child regarding lying or anything else he may be doing...just because dad doesn't help with the discipline, still doesn't excuse the fact that this child really needs some discpline in his life...parenting classes may be an option...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:59 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • i would not be surprised that he is just trying to get his dad's attention...I give him all of his attention and his dad really does not give much at all
    wheresthewayout

    Comment by wheresthewayout (original poster) at 11:33 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • If I were you, I would take the games and things away, and still spend time with him in other ways. Maybe get him to help you bake some cookies, or color together.
    I would also talk to his Dad, and tell him that our child needed him. He needed some of his time and attention. And ask what I could do to help him give that to our son.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 11:37 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • At this age they need to know that you are there for them and that lying isnt a way to get the attention he needs. Spending more time with him in things he likes will help him open up more to listen to what you have to say. It can be frustrating but dont be frustrated with him and listen to his needs.... time will tell if there will be change. I have also found that going to the school to help in the classroom helps also.

    Best Wishes!
    Annie
    lovinmy3babies

    Answer by lovinmy3babies at 11:38 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I have signed up to volunteer in the class room and I'm just waiting for the teacher to assign times to those who volunteer
    wheresthewayout

    Comment by wheresthewayout (original poster) at 11:40 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I would not take the things he loves away. When you over punish it takes away the power.

    You have figure out how to communicate with your son. Don't get angry with him, learn how to work with him. Not all kids are the same.

    try playing board games with him, good way to teach him how to listen. NOT going to be easy for you, it will take time for him to learn.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:40 AM on Sep. 21, 2010

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