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How Many Times Can I Give Him More Chances?

My son is 2. His father and I split when he was 6 mo. He saw him once or twice a week...which dwindled to no calls or visits in over 8 months. My son's bday was last week and his father finally called to say he was gonna come see him. TWICE he called to say he was coming and twice he was a no show and hasnt called since. How many chances to I give to him to be a part of his son's life? It isnt fair to my son. But I dont want to see my son hurt....

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Asked by jaydenzmama at 6:39 PM on Oct. 19, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • since he doesn't keep his word, chalk it up to ignorance on his part. Don't ever say he can't see the son, but, if it comes down to messing in your life, then thats enough.Keep record of everything, just in case, you never know. Don't put your life on hold either.You give him allthe chances he ask for and when your child gets older he can honestly say that my mom didn't keep me from my dad, my dad did that himself.

    Answer by Kat122 at 6:50 PM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • It's tough to say, but you might just want to forget about this guy. It doesn't sound like he has the capabilities of being a father. One of these days he will regret it, but at this moment, you need to go one with you and your sons' lives. Personally, I would change my phone number and forget about him.

    Answer by pupmom at 9:18 PM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • I agree with Kat122. I was in the same situation you are in now when my 1st child was younger. I waited on her father to make a change to figure out is responsiblitlies.. but in the end I was waiting for hell to freeze. I always told him that he is free to see his daughter anytime he'd like.. but to call me first and arrange it.. because I'm not going to sit by the phone for him to call. He didn't ever call. It wasn't until I moved on, found the man for me and started a family again with him and my oldest and now new baby.. that my oldest father started to take notice. I guess he thought that I'd always be there, that he could pick up his daughter off the shelf and it would still be the same... and once it wasn't he clued in. He's not more active in her life than he ever was before. I also have sole custody and he has to pay child support.. so that may have helped too.

    Answer by MyIslandGirls at 10:30 PM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • I know it's not the same thing but my SIL used to promise to come see my child and then she'd find something else to do, something good came on tv etc.... I learned quick to not tell her that she was coming or any plans she promised.. then when she got older I started telling her after the aunt promised her directly..... she has great intentions but she changes her mind really fast and often so don't look for her till you see her walk thru the door sweetie. it's not that she doesn't love you, it's just that she's easily distracted and plans c hange, so remember when you promise to do something for/with someone, how it feels when people break promises. Seemed to work for us.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:43 PM on Oct. 19, 2008

  • My son's father did the same thing. He would promise to come over or call and then he wouldn't. I never told him he couldn't see my son but if he told me he was coming or whatever I didn't tell my son. That way he wasn't disappointed if he didn't show and he was pleasantly surprised if he did. If my ex didn't show up by the time he said he would and I had something to do, I took my son and we did it.

    Answer by AuntieM at 12:39 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

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