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How can I get over someone? We've been emailing each other for 9 months and he's told me he just wants to be friends?

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Asked by cajuno at 2:50 PM on Sep. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • have you ever met in person?

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 2:51 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Same question as peanutsmommy.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 2:52 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Yes, for dinner.

    Comment by cajuno (original poster) at 2:52 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Hmm... a person can pretend to be anything through the computer.. and once in person isn't very reassuring.. You are probably in "lust" with his online person rather than his true life person.. I would just cut it off now and quit playing games with yourself.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 2:53 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Yeah, true, harsh, but true. Well, my head knows that but my heart certainly doesn't.

    Comment by cajuno (original poster) at 2:55 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • It takes awhile for our hearts to catch up with our head. I've definitely been there, meeting one time and then continuing and online romance isn't really much of a relationship. I would have to agree with SuperrMommyy - its more lust. When I went through this last year, I had to keep reminding myself of all the red flags. While I saw this person more often than once - it still wasn't right and I know I was just caught up in the emotion, the nice words, the attention and affection (even though it wasn't sincere). Our relationship was text messages and phone calls and I saw him on the weekends for about 8 weeks then that stopped it was text messages and phone calls until one day that just stopped. It took me a year to see him for who he really was, and it was a completely picture than what I believed he was. People can be many things when hiding through a computer or text. Hang in there it will get easier.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 3:01 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Sorry for your pain... Be greatful that you didn't invest any more time than you did. I would say just get busy, step out of yourself and follow your dreams. Try new activities and and live life to the fullest. Protect your thoughts and when they come up negative from the past, just change your thoughts. Acceptance is the answer to all of our problems. You can't change ths so don't try to fight t or waste time entertaining space in your mind over it. Past tripping takes away any peace we could have right now. Enjoy this moment and seek dating in the real world and not online. It is fun and flattering but this kind of stuff can get to be an unhealthy way to find satisfaction. . Try going out with your friends, work on new skills and get involved n your community, you never know who you will meet along the way ... :-)

    Answer by LeJane at 3:11 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

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