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birthday invite concerns .... adult content

My son came home from kindergarten w/ a b-day party invite from this boy he's become buddies with. PLEASE DON'T HARP ON ME for this next part because it may be creepy but it's not illegal. Since I don't know the Mom whatsoever, I ran a quick background check and found a scary long list of crimes several of which were felonies everything from burglaries, DWIs, providing alcohol to minors, and more. She's still on probation from her last mess. It's 6 year olds, I am supposed to drop him off their at 1pm and come get him by 5:30 unless she texts me otherwise. I am having serious bad Mom vibes, but it's his first invite and there's only 16 other kids in his small class in a small town, I don't want to appear crazy. Advise?


Asked by hibbingmom at 4:40 PM on Sep. 21, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (15)
  • My niece is 8 and i dont even think she is allowed at partys by her self.

    Answer by nikkik526 at 5:05 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I wouldn't drop off my kids with someone with a track record like that if I didn't know them at all. Its one thing if you know them its another if you don't. And its a WHOLE other thing if they have a record like that. Maybe you could say well we have some things going on but we can drop by for an hour so so and then we have to head out. That way you are saying you are staying but for a reason. Or just tell her you are uncomfortable leaving him with someone you don't know that well.

    Answer by MizAnn at 4:48 PM on Sep. 21, 2010


    Answer by sahlady at 4:52 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • We all want our kids to be happy, but I'd rather listen to my gut, even if it means that they are unhappy, but at least I know they are safe. Don't leave them alone there!

    Answer by Sarasmoonflower at 5:02 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • What led you to wanting to do a background check on this mom in the first place? And I wouldn't drop my kids off with people I don't know. Even though your child is buddies with her child, you don't know the person responsible for supervision well enough to leave your child alone with them. I would get to know other moms before just letting my child be alone with them.

    Answer by Sarasmoonflower at 4:44 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • if your son really wants to go, maybe you can stay around for awhile to get to know the mom some, or even offer to help out at the party


    Answer by virginiamama71 at 4:48 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • wow! im not the only one to do that then lol. dont feel bad. if you want your son to be socialble stay at the party with him. i myself wouldn't let my son go, sorry. and a mother knows best, if you got bad vibes hun then no way would i let him go.

    Answer by brandyhughes01 at 6:52 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • EDIT: I tried the obvious thing of saying "I'm not doing a darn thing that day, let me come lend a hand with clean up and stuff!" and she said I should enjoy my afternoon off, relax, no help needed, etc etc etc

    Comment by hibbingmom (original poster) at 4:42 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • to be perfectly honest, since in my state background checks are free and take less than 90 seconds, I do 'em a lot!!! Mostly I find nothing but once I learned the cleaning guy at my kids old gymnastics studio was a flasher with like 22 exposing genitals in public charges, So occasionally it comes in handy :) Since I don't know her, literally have never met her .... it seemed logical. Now I don't like what I found and have no clue what to do,

    Comment by hibbingmom (original poster) at 4:48 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I cannot remember how many years ago, but the Star Tribune (our biggest Minneapolis newspaper) had posted the link to the website basically encouraging people to do so, like a "do you really know your neighbor" type piece. I am not sure if other states have such a cheap, fast, free, and user friendly service to stalk people, lol. But it sooo works. Except for moments like this, where my common sense collides with wanting to make my little boy happy.

    Comment by hibbingmom (original poster) at 4:54 PM on Sep. 21, 2010