Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

So what would you do?

So I am a SAHM have been for a couple of years. It was not by choice more like there was no other way. We had no babysitters, could not afford daycare...and could not get help from the state..(made too much money)....I know it sounds a little hard, but this is what it things have settled and I should be able to go back to work but everytime I bring it up my husband tells me NO!....He thinks that I could not handle working, and taking care of the kids, plus school....Now, I know that I can with out any problem and I am only thinking part-time at first....I have explained to him that it would help with money and he may be able to slow down on one of his jobs....But he still will not let me...I feel like telling him oh well i'm doing it...and at the same time I don't want to cause drama....It doesn't help that he has been ignoring me either....What would you do?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:54 PM on Sep. 21, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • You have to do what you feel is right for your whole family. Maybe you could try working part time on a "trial" basis? I worked full time, went to school, and had two small children, I handled it fine as do many women :)

    Answer by Scuba at 4:59 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Don't spread yourself thin. Just concentrate on the kids and school. Work can come after you graduate.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:56 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Maybe he sees something you don't and that is why he is so adamant? Do you need to work? It's such a bad time out there that if you don't, maybe it's not worth spreading yourself too thinly? But if you really want to, you just tell him you're going for it. You have to be happy too. He cannot control you/should not. But if your working makes life at home worse, it may not be worth it. My husband works and often I tell him he's lucky for the adult interaction, a very satisfying career, etc. So I get it.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:03 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • are your kids in school full time? or do you still have kids at home?

    Answer by MommyToEthan at 4:56 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Well, I'm not the kind to let my husband tell me I can't do something if I want to. If I wanted to go get a job and he said NO, I would say tough! I'm in a similar situation as to why I had to stay home (against my will) but never once would he have told me NO I couldn't work, in fact if I told him I wanted to he would willingly pay the extra money for sitters... But I didn't think that made sense. I would simply find a job and tell him when I start... It's really that simple. No way in hell I would allow him to tell me I couldn't.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 5:00 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • ms sabrinambowen you are ordering this lady to dont let her husband tell her no but as you put it against your will you cant work.......lets take care of our home situations before we go telling others what to . JMO :)

    Answer by sunflower39346 at 5:02 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Only you can decide if pushing the issue is worth the drama it will cause. I would ask him why he doesn't want you to work. He truly may think it is bad for everyone or that it will be too much for you. He may be controlling but he may have another reason that you can work with. In the meantime can you pick up extra classes that would allow you to get thru school faster? Will you have to pay a sitter and will you make enough money to make it worth paying a sitter? Would you have to get another car and would it be worth the extra expense? Would you working cause you to spend money eating out because you only have 24 hrs and can't do everything? Sometimes it is just better to stay home.

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 5:20 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I would find time to just sit down with him... explain why I want to do this ... face to face... you and him. Maybe he has some concerns that you may have not thought about... transportation, what if the kids are sick, who is going to be home when they get there, men worry about crazy things... communicate it works great!

    Answer by kamore at 5:20 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • you need to explain to your husband a couple things.... your life, your opinions, your needs matter too. just because he disagrees with your thinking doesn't mean he is right and you are wrong, or just because the status quo needs to change in order to meet your wishes that it has to be a big problem. also... he is equally responsible for parenting your children, it is not all up to you just because you have been doing the majority of it. you two need to address all the issues involved such as you feeling like he needs to be spending less time at his work, etc. there is more to it than just you working or not. if you focus narrowly you're not likely to be satisfied even if you convince him you "should" work. you both need to refocus and remember you are partners

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:53 PM on Sep. 21, 2010