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How to know if you are being used by a friend?

I babysit for a friend of mine for free. She has a two-month old boy. I offered to help her out and I also drive her home everyday because her license is suspended. She says thank you but she has left many times without a thank you or anything. I don't know her all that well yet and I feel as though I'm being used. I know for a fact her and I probably wouldn't have became friends if I didn't offer to babysit. So how exactly do I know for sure that she is just using me until she moves out town? And if so, do I say anything or what do I say? HELP PLEASE!!

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Asked by tedabear at 9:30 PM on Jul. 1, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Sounds to me like she is using you. It's one thing for her not to have money to pay you, but she could show some appreciation for you babysitting FOR FREE!!! Good child care is hard to come by and even if she can't pay you, she could show her appreciation by saying thank you or doing something nice for you, like cooking you a meal or something.

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 9:37 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

  • you didnt say what you were getting out of the deal. sounds really one sided to me. is she at least giving you gas money?

    Answer by princezzmommie at 12:39 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • If i felt i was being used and not at all appreciated i would stop babysitting her baby. And if i didnt stop sitting i would for sure let her know how im feeling!

    Answer by roxxxy at 12:43 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • Don't be so avaiable all the time, say you have made plans see how she reacts and who fills in but don't feel guitly. You aready feel bad for doing this task in the 1st place

    Answer by bunco at 3:35 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • Thank you all so much for the advice. I guess I needed to hear it from others on the outside of this whole situation. She has never given us gas money at all. She bought me a cone at Dairy Queen once. She has offered to babysit my children for my husband and I, but we haven't needed one and she knows we just don't have time right now because he works so much. I'm always scared of any confrontation which has held me back from saying anything. I offered to babysit because I know how hard daycare was to find and afford. I don't help someone out and expect something in return; just some appreciation is all I expect. And some respect, which she doesn't show that often. She will be moving out of town so her last day of work is the 15th, then she'll spend a week packing and I will refuse to take him after her last day of work. After that, I'm sure I'll never hear from her again. Lesson learned.

    Answer by tedabear at 11:57 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • I think the word "free" for some people does enable them to use you, so in the future ask for something even if it is very little. I think if the parent has to pay you in terms of something, they respect you more.

    For example, you hear of people who rent apartments putting oil and grease down their drains because it's not their "problem", but in a own home they OWN, all of the sudden, they choose to dispose of grease in a better way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Aug. 10, 2008

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