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2 Bumps

How would you feel?

My Mother-in-law was diagnosed with alzheimer's last week and she wants me to be her POA and not either of her 2 sons. She only has the 2 boys and she wants me to be the one to make all the medical and legal decisions for her. I feel like i'm stepping on toes here. How would feel and what would you say to your hubby and brother-in-law?

Answer Question
 
mrsnikifrank

Asked by mrsnikifrank at 9:09 PM on Sep. 21, 2010 in Health

Level 11 (501 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • i would feel it's fair since it would be hard to pick one son over the other. you're kind of a 3rd party but still in the family. are they upset about it?
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:12 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I wouldn't say "Upset" as much as concerned. I go with her to all her dr.s appointments and i'm there to hear the dr. It's just hard to get it through to them what's happening. They lost their father 8 years ago and are having trouble listening to what i'm trying to tell them.
    mrsnikifrank

    Comment by mrsnikifrank (original poster) at 9:16 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I would feel honored that she chose me over her family, but I definately would feel worried at what her son's would think. Have a family sit down with her and discuss it. See what everyone feels, but ultimately it is the mother's choice.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:26 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • i am sure the boys would rather you handle things. there is something between women that are ok to stay between women. be honored.
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 10:55 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Discuss with her why she choose you.. it may be because you are someone who isn't blood but knows her enough to know and follow through with what she truly desires. Her sons may love her and want to do what they feel is best for her which may not always be what she wants done.

    I'm truly sorry about your MIL... I sometimes care for my grandfather who has this.. very messy business.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:58 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • If you go to all of her dr appt., I definitely understand why she chose you. I'm in the same position, although it's my mother I'm talking about. I do know how you feel. If they aren't aware of her medical history and you do, that says enough right there. How did they determine she has Alzheimer's? It sounds like you are more reliable than her sons, so if anything is said, remind them that you are the one going to the dr with her and know more about her medical history.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:01 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • i would feel really awkward but would tell my hubby its not my fault and would hope he wouldnt be mad at me its not like you forced her to make that decision she chose you on her own
    toybar02

    Answer by toybar02 at 4:35 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • My MIL has been having a lot of trouble remembering lots of things. She forgets her son's names and she will try to go somewhere and forget where she is going. She forgets that she has water on to boil and how to do simple tasks. She forgets to pay the rent. We sent her for every test known to man and it was discovered that she has 20% brain cell loss. It's Alzheimer's for sure. She is now on medicine to see if they can slow it down any but the dr. told us it's only going to get worse from here. This woman is like my own mother to me. When my mother kicked me out (again) and i had no where to go when i was 20, my husband's mom and dad took me in even though i was only dating their son for a couple months. They loved me like one of their own and i love them like my own parents. When my FIL passed away 8 years ago, it was like losing my own father. Now she is sick and it's so hard for me.
    mrsnikifrank

    Comment by mrsnikifrank (original poster) at 9:25 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

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