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3 Bumps

holding grudges

Ever since I had my son, I have had trouble with holding grudges, and its driving me insane. The biggest one is against me MIL. She completely smothered me when I first had my baby and caused a bunch of drama. We've talked about it and she apologized, and although she is still a drama queen, she is giving me my space. For some reason I have a bad grudge against me her still. Its so bad that my mind is npw digging up stuff that happened YEARS ago, and being mad at her about it. This isn't me. I have always been really good at letting things go and moving on. I don't know if its possible to be hormonal, because my son is now six months old. I don't like all of these negative feelings, and I'm not sure what to do about it. How can I be able to let things go, and move on with my life??? I've tried talking to her about it. It helped me feel better for about a day. Any techniques I can try to self manipulate my thoughts?


Asked by GingerMom33 at 10:40 PM on Sep. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,742 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • maybe you need an outlet. someone/something to vent to? feelings are feelings, you can't get upset at yourself for them. you're obviously not acting on them, other than trying to clear the air, which is good. maybe try to remind yourself how much better she's gotten. it's totally possible that you're stressing about other stuff, and your mind is blaming her because she did traumatize you back in the day, so it's easier to focus on than the actual issue.

    Answer by catharsis at 11:37 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I wish I knew. I am also terrible at holding grudges for a long time. I still don't know why. But I bumped ya!

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 10:42 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • i cant go to sleep holding a grudge against someone....its me feel like a bad person....i wanna go to sleep knowing that im in good with people

    Answer by cute504dimples at 10:45 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • Techniques? Thats your husband's mother. Let it go. You've discussed it with her, what more do you want her to do? This is going to affect your relationship with your husband if you can't find a way to move on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • same here! wish, i knew. i am currently going through the same thing with my MIL and not able to let go of all the stuff she's put me through. bumped you too!

    Answer by pmg1030 at 10:46 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I don't need bashing please. If I knew how to just "let it go," I would. That is why I am asking for advice. This is not my usual personality, and I am really struggling with it. My MIL is also not the only one this is ahppening with, she is just the one I am having the most issues with.
    Thank you to those who did not respond as an anonymous bitch. :)

    Comment by GingerMom33 (original poster) at 10:52 PM on Sep. 21, 2010

  • I'm sure your feelings changed after you gave birth to your son. It's easy to forgive, but not forget. This is your baby's Grandmother and she will always be a part of his life. My ex-MIL was always telling me what to do. One day I snapped, I'll never forget it. I can't tell you how to make peace with it, but on some level, you need to make peace within yourself rather than with her. There are some things you can't change no matter how much you try.

    Just remember the serenity prayer:

    "God grant me the wisdom to accept the things I cannot change, the wisdom to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:26 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I know how you feel. I have been holding a lot of resentment lately and I am normally very easy going. I try to remember my old mentality of love and even-handedness. Take a moment to meditate on how you feel, your emotions, your breath. Are you holding tension in your body? Let it go. Feel compassion and love towards everyone and everything. Know that we all come from one source and will again return. No judgement, I know how you feel. These exercises have helped me achieve peace, lord knows I need it- good luck on you journey!

    Answer by BluDog at 1:17 AM on Sep. 22, 2010