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New rules for senior in high school?

My son is a senior in high school. He will turn 18 in December, then graduate in May of 2011. We have certain rules that he obeys now, but when he turns 18 and is technically an adult living in our house and being supported by us financially, do we keep the rules in place that we feel should be, change them, or not have any rules? We're not sure how to handle the situation because we've never been in it before. Thank you

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Arwynne

Asked by Arwynne at 5:23 AM on Sep. 22, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (65 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • He is still under your roof and you are still sopprting him he has to abey by whatever rules you want him to. If he wants to pay his own way and live on his own then he can move out but you have to have some rules until he shows you that he is adult and wants to act like one. I moved in with my parents when I was 23 and i worked but i had rules cause i was under there roof.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 5:36 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • maybe some of the rules could be altered tosuffice to both his adulthood, and your requirements a little better to keep the peace. but i lived at hom until i was 19 and my cousin lived home until she was 25, we were raised to live by the rules until we left, and granted there were times that we didn't obey the rules for certan circumstances, things always worked themselves out.
    cupcake1441

    Answer by cupcake1441 at 5:40 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • He should still be expected to act responsible so if you want to title the "rules" as "responsible adult behavior" then that is fine. However as long as my kids are in school and living at home there are certain rules we all have to follow.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:25 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • if he is not supporting himself and living under your roof then your rules should be your rules... if he doesn't like them and decides to break them then it's time for him to understand what real life is all about, but I would still encourage school until he graduates and try to keep him there so he can have a better life than what they would have without one even though these days it doesn't seem like an education matters any more with the lack of good jobs though...im just saying....
    meliscool72

    Answer by meliscool72 at 6:55 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • We are in a similar situation - our ds turns 18 in early Jan. We have told him that he will still have to follow the rules, because while yes, he is legally an adult, we will still be supporting him, and he will still be in high school. Once he graduates, we can re-visit this. This isn't meant mean or anything to him, and he isn't upset by it, but as we have talked about and explained, either you're adult enough to not have to follow our rules, etc, in which case, then you should be adult enough to support yourself, etc, or you aren't. Also, an adult would realize that we are supporting them and that they are not in a position to move out on their own yet, and that it's our home, and our rules, and that we are deserving of respect.

    He's good with it. But we do talk about the rules and hear his opinion on things.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 7:35 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Your house, your rules! :) Regardless of his age, if he is living in your home and he is financially dependent on you, your rules need to be followed. After he graduates, I might be inclined to not have a curfew for him, but it would depend on the child.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 7:56 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I think "sailorwifenmom" and Scuba" said it best for me.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 8:01 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • You need to sit down with him and discuss things. It could be that he actually doesn't mind the rules in which case he'll think nothing of keeping the same. If he thinks that since he's 18 he should be allowed to stay out until 2:00 instead of 11:00 on the weekend then you need to discuss it. Perhaps a compromise of midnight. They don't realize that we worry until they're safe at home.

    If he thinks he should be allowed to have a bunch of friends over and get drunk then I'd say no.

    Talk to him and see what's in his mind. Yes it is your house your rules but when he turns 18 he needs to start having some say in his life so that he can grow and start realizing what his decissions can cost him.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 12:53 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I am in the same boat! My son turns 18 on Friday! We've not really changed the rules but more the purpose of them. He still has a curfew because the rest of the family has to be up early even if he doesn't. We have explained that common courtesy dictates a lot of what we do as adults and that age doesn't change the fact that we function as a family and not just a bunch of roommates. If he chooses to spend the night at friends house, he can do so without asking but he must call and say that is what he is doing--not talking about girlfriends here. We've told him he is welcome to stay as long as he wants or needs to as long as he contributes through help and proper behaviors. I have told both my sons that I want them to leave when it is right for them to do so and not out of a fit of anger on anybody's part but also that I am not running a prison and they are free to go anytime they no longer want to cooperate.
    jessa1091

    Answer by jessa1091 at 2:49 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • We didn't change the rules just because they turned 18. We changed the rules when they graduated from HS and were starting to either work or go to school.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:56 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

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