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3 Bumps

Loaning a Friend Money?

Normally I don't, and if I do it's for small amounts ($20) and only for really close friends.

Until last week. I've known this woman for several years, we had a bit of a falling out awhile back and have been talking again since March. She called on Friday and said her electric was going to get turned off if she didn't put some money on her bill - I wrote a check to the Electric Company for $150. She said she was getting paid and I'd have it back Tuesday. She texted yesterday and said she didn't get paid. She just texted and said she might have 1/2 of it today.

My DH isn't too happy with me (because he doesn't think she's very responsible), but she has a little girl (9), and they have to have electric.

I probably shouldn't have done it, but it didn't take anything from my family so I did. Do you loan money to friends? Does it ever work out right?


Asked by Scuba at 9:35 AM on Sep. 22, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 34 (64,138 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I've found that it doesn't usually work out. My loaning of money used to go to my family, sisters especially. One of them has 4 kids and I used to loan her money to keep the utilities on, I used to buy the kids great presents. After being burned several times I finally quit. You were smart in the fact that you wrote the check directly to the utility company rather than to her. She could have lied about that.

    If she is contacting you directly about her knowing that she owes you, then there is a good chance she might pay up, even though it might take her a while. If you constantly have to hunt her down, then NO, you won't get the money.

    Good luck! I know how hard it is to say 'NO' in those situations!

    Answer by travzmom at 9:42 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I NEVER loan money to a friend - not even $5. If I have a friend - and they are really a friend - then I give them a gift, even as much as a couple of hundred dollars. I NEVER expect to get the money back, even if they say they will. If I don't feel like I'm in a financial place to help someone out of their situation then I say so.

    I have found this does two things. One - my mind is clear and if I never see that money again, it's not weighing on my mind. I really don't care because it was a gift. Two - I've not had a situation where someone has asked me for money more than twice, and that's only happened once. Once the money has been gifted, I think most people get really embarrased about then asking for more.

    I will point out that this does not apply to my 22 year old step daughter (who is ALWAYS begging for money!). She's got no shame about it.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 9:49 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I have had many unfortunate occurances of loaning money to friends and some family members of mine in good faith but where they never paid it back. However some do make a good note of trying to pay it back when they can and others only do it if you hound them constantly. While it may have been a waste of money, it may not be. If it is , whats done is done and you cant undo life. Take this as a lesson that even with close friends you have to be cautious. Best of luck to you. :)

    Answer by americanadian25 at 9:52 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I think it was very kind of you and it does seem as though she is going to "eventually" pay it back. She seems like she is in a bad way and really needed it. You made the check directly out to the power Co. so at least you know it was legitimate. When I lend money, which is not often, I keep in the back of my mind "how will I feel if I don't get paid back" & if I genuinely feel I am OK with it in a particular situation, I will give it otherwise I won't. I worked with a girl who weekly asked to borrow $ for groceries. I gave often until she stopped paying me back. She thought I had more $ than she did. It fact she lived in her Moms home & she made more then me & I had a Mortgage & she did not! I felt like a sucker so I stopped & she stopped talking to me. Well with lending $ you often loose friends too.


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:13 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I never borrow anyone money for anything--I always tell people I am broke and they believe me!

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 10:25 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • None of my friends, thankfully, have ever asked for money. Sounds like you were scammed. Sorry to hear that.

    Answer by HotMama330 at 11:59 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • We don't loan money to friends and family. We'll ive it if we have it, but we don't do loans. It strains the relationship and can ruin great friendships.

    Answer by Erica_Smerica at 7:41 PM on Sep. 22, 2010