Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

6 Bumps

My family gives my daughters new toys year round. Would it be terrible if......

I just kept the gifts and gave them to them on their Birthdays and Christmas as gifts from that friend or family member? My daughters are becoming so spoiled. They have started to just expect things when ever. I kind of want it so they only get new things for special occations or if they need it. I don't like that they expect things all the time. I have asked a couple times not to send so much and the family has gotten offended. We are military and live far away. They usually tell me that it is because they don't get to see them. It makes me feel bad. So if I just wrapped them up and put who they were from and saved them for Birthdays or Christmas would it be rude or bad? (I wouldn't take credit for them, I would put who they are from)


Asked by MizAnn at 10:58 AM on Sep. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 12 (751 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • You're the mom. Do what you think is best. Living with spoiled kids is like jail.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 11:03 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Its called compromise. They want to send the presents, you only want them given on special occasions. So tell them if they insist on sending them, you insist on only giving them when you believe your daughters deserve it. If they don't like it, they can choose not to send them gifts. When it comes to raising your children NOT to be spoiled, their sensitivity to insult doesn't matter.

    Answer by an-apple-a-day at 11:04 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I think thats a great idea!

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 11:03 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I would run it by the people giving the girfts..

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 11:00 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • We had a problem with a close family friend of ours that was renting a room in our house constantly giving my oldest gifts. We asked her to stop and told her our reasons. So get this lol........she gave him another gift and told him not to tell us! I'll let you guess what happened from there.

    I believe it should have to be okay with the parent and unless it's a holiday they should run it by mom first.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:03 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • If they are mailing the gifts I would just tuck it in the closet and if teh person asks tell them what you told us. That you tucked it in teh closet and they will get it for the next holiday but that they are getn spoiled and you are teaching them they only get gifts for special occasions. You could also give your child the gift but they have to get rid of one toy eveyrtime they add soemthing new to their room. Kids end up with soooo much stuff!

    Answer by ria7 at 11:06 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I had a friend that would get so much on Holidays or Christmas that she would only let the kids open a few gifts on the holiday and put the rest in the closet... then she would take stuff out when the kids were bored, it was raining ect. She thought they got too much for one holiday that they couldn't even enjoy it all so she intentionally spaced it out during the year. (Sort of the opposite of your problem.)

    Anyhow... as the parent you should do what you think is right. BUT if your family is sending things, they likely would expect a thank you or will ask the kids if they got it. I would talk to your family again and ask for them to send less. I would ask if they save that $ to maybe buy you Scipe or an airline ticket instead. Then they could see you more often.... no one wants a spoiled kid.

    Answer by Niki_sd at 11:09 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • We were military and lived extremely far from home... We were always receiving something from one side or the other... we finally decided to open the girls savings account and made a big deal out of it... we asked everyone that wanted to send something if they would just send a card with money to put toward the girls big purchased we would appreciate it... it was hard to get everyone on board... but there first "purchase" was for plane tickets home... it seemed to help... ( We actually just saved the money all these years and it is what is supporting them through college)

    Answer by kamore at 11:11 AM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I would save them, they need to know things don't come so easy.

    Answer by DonnaPinitonya at 12:38 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Maybe open a 529 account (college savings) and ask them to give money for their college instead.

    Answer by Christina807 at 3:14 PM on Sep. 22, 2010