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3 Bumps

Has anyone been through this and found a way?

I have been married for almost 2 yrs. I know that I love my husband but I am starting to think it was a mistake. I feel like our relationship completely changed. It went from he tried to now he has me he does not have to. His side of the family do not care for me bc I am too "B***hy" for them...(Idon't put up with BS). I am starting to see a side of my husband I never did before. He wants things his way all the time, does what he wants when he wants, if i talk to him about this ( i have many times) he says sorry and then does it again. If I want something (no matter what) I talk to him about it and then he tells me no...with no good reason why not...I starting to feel a little controlled... Normally i would just leave and not look back but being we are married w/kids i would rather try to work it out? Any suggestions? Besides talk....I have many many many times thats not working...I'm tired of hearing that false sorries.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Sep. 22, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • the second year of my marriage was bad...we practically lived two separate lives in the same house and when we did interact it was fighting and we were getting a divorce every other day. One night I had enough, we sat and talked, I asked him if he was still serious about the relationship and if he wanted to make it work, I knew I still loved him and I wanted it to work. It took a lot of communication and a lot of not communicating with people outside of our marriage (sometimes other peoples opinions can be worse on your marriage than you can be) I would suggest a therapist if you can afford it or have one available. We didnt do therapy but we figured out that there was a lot of compromising that we needed to do and had to have conversations about everything from going out with friends to what we were having for dinner. We learned a lot about each other and no longer have to talk about everything but we still communicate well.
    foxracing43701

    Answer by foxracing43701 at 12:32 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Counseling. I am a FIRM believer that EVERYONE needs to see a counselor at some point in their lives.

    Way to go for working through it and not just up and leaving.
    Biz1985

    Answer by Biz1985 at 12:07 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Therapy is my only suggestion. I hope everything works out for the best.
    sweetyazfl

    Answer by sweetyazfl at 12:09 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Sometimes you have to make sure you are treating him the same as you were when you were dating. Are you showing him affection, going on date nights, connecting about soemthing besides thekids? Ask him what he wants, how he thinks should be going. Try to work on a compromise. Dont tell him what you want ask him what he wants and see if you can find a way to give him as much of what he wants. Compromise is really about both people getting part of what they want and coming away happy. you could also try the love dare. Its a great book to read.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 12:10 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • i would recommend counseling as well. sounds like there a lot of stuff under the surface that needs to be explored in a safe envinronment.
    rfurlongg

    Answer by rfurlongg at 12:10 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Been there done that and ended up developing a very old school mentality and our marriage is flourishing. My husband has completely changed! I read and practiced Fascinating Womanhood and Surrender Wife. Worked wonders for us. Its not for everyone though.

    Mrs_R_G

    Answer by Mrs_R_G at 12:20 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I would be asserting myself rather loudly.  I would be telling him that I will not tolerate that kind of behaviour and if he doesn't pull his finger out of his arse and grow up, I'm leaving!  I would mean every word of it too!

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 12:51 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I agree, with "beeky"
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 1:12 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Therapy. I'm not a fan of throwing marriages away simply because things aren't going perfectly. Everyone changes, marriages change, but its how you deal with those changes. You vowed for better or for worse, not until I don't feel like it any more.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 1:25 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Counseling would be my alternative to divorce, unless that didn't work. Then if he isn't trying and your still not happy, than only one thing left to do is leave.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 1:46 PM on Sep. 22, 2010