Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


My friend just had her third baby and I have concerns that she is not bonding with her baby very well. I just found out that she was planning on having an abortion. Her boyfriend prevented it by taking the money out of the account. I need ideas on how to deal with it. Should I just mind my own business or should I try to talk to her?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:50 AM on Oct. 20, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • I do not think bringing it up to her will help anything. My Ex wanted me to abort our first child. Took him a little longer to bond but now they are always doing stuff together and love each other very much. Hopefully your friend and her baby will turn out the same. =)

    Answer by imtheonlysane1 at 2:03 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Abortion is should only be between the people affected you should definitely keep your nose out of their business.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Only stick your nose in if it seems she is abusing the child. It might take her some time to warm up to the baby. She might even feel bad that she considered an abortion. Don't say anything about it. Just watch carefully and make sure the baby isn't harmed.

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 2:13 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • You can't really advise her on how she is supposed to act or feel about the matter. However, as a friend you should always try to help her work out her issue if she needs you. If she is the one who told you herself that she was planning to abort, then maybe she DOES need to talk about how she's feeling about this baby. If it was someone else who told you, let her bring it up. For now, just be a friend to her. She may just be feeling some major post-pardum depression at the moment. I would rush into "stepping in" any time soon. The matter is way too personal.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 2:25 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • yeah, unless she is abusing the child in some sort of way i wouldnt talk directly with her. I would actually stay out of it. If you really want to do something talk with her boyfriend and let HIM know how you feel about it, and maybe if it is severe it will open his eyes to it and HE can and SHOULD be the one to talk to her about it. You though should not.

    Answer by KelsoBabeyy at 2:29 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • OK she wanted an abortion and didn't have it. What's your issue? I'm sure she was scared of a third baby. I know I sure as heck was! Yes abortion crossed my mind.

    The only thing you should be concerned about at this time is that it seems she may have PPD and you could talk to her about that issue. And even that is a rough topic to bring up.

    Try to help her, there is no reason to bring up the abortion she had thought about since #1 it's not your child or your body and #2 the baby's here now.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Wait a minute! She wants to abort her baby because she doesn't think she's bonding with it? It's still inside her stomach! She's a f-ing moron!

    Answer by Imogine at 3:07 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Imogine - she wanted and abortion, didn't get it because her BF took the $ so she couldn't. baby is born.

    Answer by flutterfae at 3:08 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Oh! BUt she still wants to get rid of it?

    Answer by Imogine at 3:26 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Imogine, you are dense.

    It takes a while for some people to adjust to their kids. Besides, not everyone absolutely loves every freaking second of motherhood. Maybe you just happen to be around when she is stressed out. What you are describing sounds more like PDD. If she truly didn't want her baby she would have put it up for adoption, don't you think? Just because she was planning an abortion, doesn't mean she now hates her baby. When I found out I was pregnant a few years ago, I was going to terminate my pregnancy. I even made the appointment, but I changed my mind at the last minuet, and I don't hate my son.

    Answer by OOHPFG at 3:56 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.