Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Okay I wrote this and I want to know what you guys think pls be honest I can take it lol

What do you see when you close you eyes??

Do you see?
Flowers
Rainbows
Ponies

Do you see?
Cute families
Good kids
Loving families

Do you see?
Kids playing on a playground
Kids playing with each other
A perfect world

You want to know what I see?
I see people dieing
I see people in pain
I see people without love
I see all the bad things that are going on in this world of ours

You want to see what I see?
I see kids crying
I see parents leaving
I see kids without homes
I see all the bad things

You want to see what I see?
I see kids without parents
I see kids doing drugs
I see kids having kids
I see all the bad things

You want to see what I see?
I see parents beating their kids
I see parents emotionally scaring their kids
I see spouses beating spouses
I

 
LiLJeni

Asked by LiLJeni at 3:04 PM on Sep. 22, 2010 in Hobbies & Crafts

Level 30 (44,491 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • cute!
    bingbong

    Answer by bingbong at 4:11 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Not a fan I try and focus on the positives in life.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:23 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Cont...

    You want to see what I see?
    I see why kids are scared to go home
    I see kids drinking themselves to death
    I see kids overdosing on meds
    I see all the bad things

    You want to see what I see?
    I see kids killing people
    I see kids killing themselves because no one cares
    I see why kids do what they do
    I see all the bad things

    You want to see what I see?
    I see kids hurting themselves to get away from it all
    I see kids trying to find love in all the wrong ways
    I see kids doing things they dont want to
    I see all the bad things

    Now do you see what I see?
    Why do these things happen?
    Why is there so many things wrong in our world?
    How did people get this way?

    Now do you see what I see?
    Why did we let things get this bad?
    What is wrong with people?
    How could we let our people get this way?
    LiLJeni

    Comment by LiLJeni (original poster) at 3:04 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Very creative..I like it..♥
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 3:05 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I think its a decent poem/song if that is how you are feeling but it makes me depressed to read it.
    Aqua_Jen

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 3:06 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I like flowers, ponies and daisies. Depressing. Where do you live?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I honestly don't like it. It sounds like several that my brother has wrote on his emo days.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 3:09 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Its not that im emo its how it is its life and it really is and I live in AZ now but I have lived all over the US
    LiLJeni

    Comment by LiLJeni (original poster) at 3:11 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • But how can you do that when there are so many things wrong??
    LiLJeni

    Comment by LiLJeni (original poster) at 3:24 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Honestly, it reads like a middle-school assignment. The trick with poetry is to pay attention to rhythm, meter, and the sounds of the words.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 3:36 PM on Sep. 22, 2010