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If my fiance was molested by his mom when he was younger should I worry about him doing that to our 2 boys?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:36 PM on Sep. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Maybe, maybe not. Not all victims of molestation repeat history. Some people try to overcome it.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 4:37 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • NO!!!!! that is a mental illness that his mother had, it's not hereditary!! his mother was sick, that doesn't make him sick because what causes adults to have sex with children IS a sickness

    Answer by aliishott2 at 4:37 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Did he seek counseling for what happened to him? Before you had children, did he tell you that he was worried about bringing kids into this world because of what happened to him? Look at his actions and what you two discussed in the past and you should find the answer.

    Answer by Queen2245 at 4:39 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • That is an aweful thing to assume! Not only was he a victim of sexual abuse but now it sounds he has to worry about you judging him and assuming he will abuse his own children because of the actions of his mother!! I was molested by two uncles when I was young and I would kill ANYONE who touched my children. I would never let anyone hurt my kids the way I was hurt. I feel bad for your SO because instead of trying to be there and support him you are trying to blame him and throw him under the bus.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 4:40 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • No.

    Just because he was molested does not mean that he in turn will be a molester.

    He was a victim. That doesn't mean he will become a victimizer.

    To be fearful of that is a disservice to him.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:41 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • No. I was molested, I've never had a desire to do it to anyone else. He was a victim. Don't make assumptions.

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 4:52 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I was molested as a child and I am with worriedmommy! I am super aware of who is around my child! And I would without doubt harm them if they ever thought of hurting my children. I think you need to talk with your dh about this. If he hasn't gotten counseling suggest he goes. And educate your children (good touch/bad touch) NOW. No matter how young they are. And to never keep secrets, no matter what. And that you love them unconditionally. GL

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 5:53 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • yes--you should definitely worry about it but it doesn't mean it will happen---look at how it has affected him and how he has dealt with it and what was done to remedy it

    Answer by sadie51 at 9:43 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • What is his relationship with her now ????

    Does he respect her ?

    Does he have contact with her ?

    Was she convicted ?

    What exactly happen ?

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 10:54 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • No, I wouldn't worry about him doing it. However, I would be worried about Grandma doing it.

    Answer by mom2eliandjayde at 2:50 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

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