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How do you have alone time with older children/teens when.....???

I have 4 kids ages, 18, 15, 9 and 3. I always have them all with me and the younger ones really cause problems with the older ones by whining, fighting, etc. Hard to talk or anything. How do you fit in time with your older kids/teens so they will feel special too and not left out?

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Asked by luvmy4kidsinAL at 4:41 PM on Sep. 22, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 15 (1,917 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I only have two children, but I do try to spend equal time with them together as well as apart. I like to take my boys shopping or out to eat or movies sometimes without the other. During bed routines (both the boys shower at night) I take the time with the one not in the shower to talk, and in the morning its the same thing. If even with just two its hard to find that one on one time.
    Do you have a bed time routine with the younger ones, that would allow you a little seperate time with your older children?
    Or how about just an after where you can leave the younger children with someone and take the older children out for a little bit, even if its just going for an ice cream cone.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 4:46 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I have a teen and 3 year old twins. I take off a day or afternoon from work every once in a while during summer break or other school vacations to spend time with my teen while the little ones are in daycare. Sometimes I get my mom to watch the little ones so I can spend time with the older one. Sometimes we do things after the little ones go to bed. I don't get to spend as much alone time with my teen now as I did before the twins were born, but I do try to make sure we have at least a little of that and she always appreciates that I go out of my way to make it happen. I also try to make sure I get a little alone time with each of the 3 year olds.


    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 5:04 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • It's just so hard, I work full time and have to be at work at 6 so I am gone before they get up. My Husband also works and doesn't get home until around 8p and my Mom works 3rd shift and watches my 3 y/o during the day for me so I can work. That's all I got....:( I get off one day every three weeks at 12 and had planned on checking my daughter out early and going to lunch, but she has grad exams so I couldn't. I told her I would do it next Tuesday and let the 3 y/o stay home with her Daddy...the other one will still be in school. She is upset with me that I didn't do it this week, but usually I get my 12 on Friday, but this week it was today... Last night I let her drive us to my 3 y/o ballet class and the younger two fought there and back, my daughter said she wasn't going next week. We do talk everyday and about everything, but it usually ends with my teen getting upset because of the interruptions so she goes to her room.

    Comment by luvmy4kidsinAL (original poster) at 5:09 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • By making an effort. You get sitters for younger ones to spend time with older ones. The 18 year old could sit with the 9 year old and 3 year old while you spent time with the 15 year old. And the 15 year old could do the same. The 18 year old or 15 year old could stay with either the 9 year old or the 3 year old while you spent time with the other child.
    I totally understand the older ones being frustrated because of the interruptions. The older children deserve uninterrupted time too. It's simply not fair to allow the younger ones to always command attention. And the younger ones can be taught what "private time" is, so that interruptions begin to become less frequent.

    Answer by justnancyb at 5:13 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Thanks for your helpful answers.I really do appreciate your answers.

    Comment by luvmy4kidsinAL (original poster) at 5:22 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Wow. I feel your pain mama, BUT it CAN be done. I have a 26 y/o. 18 y/o, 17 y/o and 12 y/o. I frequently babysit my 1 y/o niece also. The time that I had with my older children occurred at night time when the smaller ones were in bed. For example, my oldest daughter is 9 years older than the middle daughter (my 18 y/o is a stepchild who came later in our lives.) She was used to being the baby and the oldest and only child for 9 years so she didn't take the adjustment of her baby sister who demanded ALL my time and was a very boisterous kid who had ADHD. My oldest would cry outside on the deck because she was miserable once the baby came. I handled this by allowing her time at night alone with me and a movie of her choice and a big bowl of pop corn. When she got older, we did pedicure nights and facials. Sometimes, I'd let her sleep with me (even as a teenager) and we'd trade "secret for secret".. Hope this helps!

    Answer by shellakers at 12:37 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • I like to take one at a time to the store with me or on an errand. I have 4 kids too and it is hard to find the time.

    Answer by cleanaturalady at 11:23 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • Keep the others busy with activities while you spend time with the older ones.

    Answer by mekarevell at 1:03 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • You have to make time because pretty soon the two older ones will leave the nest and your household will never to whole again as it is now. Have your husband take the smaller ones and your take the older ones. GL


    Answer by musicmom08 at 7:49 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

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