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If you have ever been involved in a menasha twa (sp) , did you set rules first? What it as good/ bad as you thought it might be?

Hubby and I have talked about trying a 3 some (we'd add another women to the mix). I'm not worried about me being with another women (I experimented some long before I met hubby) but my biggest fear is that he will "like" her better. Normally, I'm a very secure individual (that's why I would ever think about it).

I don't see this as turning into a regular occurrence, we would just like to give it a try once just to find out what is is like. I wouldn't even know who to ask to "join us". And we would have to set some ground rules first so no one's feelings got hurt. I don't know =-}


Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Oct. 20, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Thanks every one, I have thought about it more and I have decided that we should keep it in the fantasy realm only. It is fun to talk about with him (gets us both worked up) But I'm definitely not comfortable with the "what if". I don't want to take the chance on hurting or weakening our wonderful marriage. We will keep our sex life "just us", which has been a wonderful, gratifying relationship.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • It's menage a trois but spelling isn't important. You did great job phonetically. I've never heard a good story about them. Some, the guy sneaks around and messes with the other women afterward. One, the h left the w for the third party. Most, it just increases insecurities in the wife. It's your choice but I found that it's best (for my relationship) to keep it in the fantasy realm.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:59 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • my husband wants to try it too.but we havent yet so i don tknow either .... the thought scares me in a way

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • We've done a foursome DH myself, and a married couple we're friends with. It was a good experience no true horror stories. We did have ground rules no cumming inside, everyone had to be present, I can't think of any of the other ones right now. If your hubby or you gets easily attatched to someone don't do it. You have to remember it's only sex nothing more. For us having friends helped me because I'm not very trusting in the sex department (I had been raped). Others like the complete stranger but if you do that you have to worry more about diseases and I would recomend a hotel room so she doens't know where you live. Good luck with your decision.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • admckenzie, thank you for the popper spelling =-) and the advice. I really have no fear of him running off with someone else (if I did then we wouldn't even talk about it). That is why I think if we did go ahead with it to calm my "what if she is better fear" there would be no penetration of the "other women". He is a very trustworthy, sensitive, understanding guy. I know that he wouldn't cross boundaries that I was uncomfortable with.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Don't feel badly that you naturally find this worrisome. Women, by the very nature that we are made of, are private and have pride in ourself. Losing that natural "pride" breaks down barriors that were meant to protect us, from disease, self depracating behavior, etc. For women, sex is a bonding experience. When we try to practice sex without that bonding, it becomes simply an act, which cheapens that part of our lives. Sex can either be nothing more than a ride on a rollar coaster (and I mean that several ways), or it can be something that builds that close bond between yourself and your husband. How exciting!! It balances our hearts, our bodies AND our minds. Cluttering it with junk creates instability as well the feelings of embarrassment, and fear. Why do that to yourself?

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 10:24 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • If i were you i wouldn't do it. It NEVER turns out the way you want it and it never turns out good either i don't care who you are. My ex husband and i did this kind of thing and this is why he is now my ex. Don't do it!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • All great answers! But if you want to give this a try that is your own personal choice.
    I say make ground rules first. Like talk about it way before you find a hook up, some women will want to be with your man, there are some that will only want to be with you. I would start with a woman experience for you both first. He gets to watch and play with you while you and her are only doing the touching etc to each other. For that a couple with the same ground rules is perfect.
    Other then that, after a relationship is safe and in place, would I allow him to take part with another woman.

    Answer by MikkiB at 3:30 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • FYI some men fantasy about it will become their worst fear, he might think you like girls better, he changes his feelings about what kind of girl you are, or he starts forgetting the rules. I have witnessed this happen to alot of friends that had wonderful marriages and strong relations. And sometimes once you do this for them, they start making requests for it more and more, or they wanna pick the girl. It can effect you the "wrong way" to witness your man with another woman too!
    I would recommand taking a trip to Hedoism in Jamica (Hedo 2 is the best) to really experience a couple time. Plus you can simply chalk it up to being there if all else fails! We've been there 3 times and love it! Also we have fun couple times with some great friends of ours. But we've only done girl to girl and let the guys watch and play with us, no touching except for our own husbands.

    Answer by MikkiB at 3:30 PM on Oct. 20, 2008