Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

If your fiance/boyfriend found out you slept with alot of guys do you think he would still want to marry you??

I was young and i slept with so many guys. I wish I never did. Now its starting to haunt me. I think everywhere I go Im gonna see someone that I slept with or my boyfriend is gonna find out. I had low seld esteem when I was younger, I liked having sex and I really thought the men I slept with liked me. Im almost 40 now and I feel if he marries me without knowing he would be made a mockery of by marrying a whore. My mother used to sleep with alot of men as well now that i thinking about it. Then again I think I should just tell him for the sake of him making a mistake in marrying me. I dont know what to do. recently I had a dream that all the guys I slept had me in a hotel room they raped me =, called me all kinds of names and Im assuming I probably died because they would let me out of the room :( I just wish I was thinking back then.....

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:48 PM on Sep. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • If he loves you, and these were all before him, then it shouldn't be a factor in whether or not he'll marry you
    dlandrum

    Answer by dlandrum at 6:51 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • omgosh..like my fiance' wasn't as 'used' as i was! he knew everything about me, and vice versa. of course, he still wanted to marry me! he fell in love with and married ME, not my past. although, he wishes i was still a little freaky...somethings are better left unsaid in a relationship. :))
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 6:51 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • have you not spoken with him about any past people, before? i wouldn't think it would be that big of a deal, unless it's going on even now. if it hasn't been brought up, bring it up now. if it has been, and you lied, well.... you just need to tell him the truth. no good relationship is built on lies.
    gracefulsky

    Answer by gracefulsky at 6:51 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Well one thing you have to have in a good relationship, is trust. He may be upset and mad, but he would hear it from the horses mouth and trust you. Explain why you were that way, and how ashamed and embarassed you feel, but you wanted to be the one to tell him, not the grapevine. Let him know you love him enough to tell him this, and hope he loves you just as much, that was in your past, he's your in the now and the future. If he truly loves you, I would hope he could find it in his heart to be understanding and forgive you. Best of Luck.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 6:53 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Sex is sex and that was in your past.... you're not a "whore"... you don't need to tell him unless you want to, as long as your faithful to him now it doesn't matter.... relax and enjoy the love you two have
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 6:53 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I really do not think it should matter how many people you had sex with before you met him. Unless he is one of those guys who wants a women who is a virgin.


    But that is something you should have talk about, both of you. About your past.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:56 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • i dont see why not.. my bf slept with a lot of girls and im still with him... the past is the past it doesn't matter.. as long as its over with now thats all that matters!
    proudmommy690

    Answer by proudmommy690 at 6:57 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Yes.

    My husband knew I had sex with other people before I ever met him.
    We married, and have been for 25 years.
    I don't see it as an issue..Sex, sexuality are not issues to me personally.. For me sex has nothing to do with morality. And the only way a woman is a "whore" is if she takes cash up front for sex/sexual favors. But that's me.

    Now, in regards to you.... :-)

    Tell him, tell him your past if you feel you need to, tell him how it makes you feel now, tell him your fears and worries. If you are truly considering spending the rest of your life with this person. Then he needs to be someone that you can honestly, openly and safely share/discuss anything and everything with.. Open, honest, safe communication is a must have in any long term relationsip, especially one you want to last a lifetime.

    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 6:57 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I have had sex with lots of men too, and not because of low self esteem or anything like that. I just LIKED sex. But yes, my fiance knows about my past (not the exact number, but the general idea anyway), and he still proposed, so I guess he doesn't care. Just like I don't care what he did before we met. That's in the past, has nothing to do with how we feel about each other.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 6:58 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • i don't think the pass relationships need to be in your current relationship...everyone has a pass

    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 7:00 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN