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2 Bumps

Would you have your parents choose between grandchildren?

Let's say you lived across the country from your parents, and your mom is willing to visit so she could babysit her grandson (and you and hubby can go away to his company's annual holiday party in Vegas, which you haven't attended in the last 3 years because there hasn't been anyone to watch the kid). However, the party is also on the same day as your nephew's 5th birthday, who lives close to grandma/grandpa, and they already have plans to see a play & go to dinner. Mom is considering "splitting" it - she goes to visit us, while dad stays home. If it were you, would you try to talk to your brother (your nephew's father) about "borrowing" mom for that day? After all, it's easier for them to hang out since they live close to one another, and besides, it's not like his son is ever that thrilled to hang out with grandma anyway (grandpa is clearly the favorite). Or would just suck it up and RSVP no again, for the 4th time in a row?

Answer Question

Asked by phoofy at 9:19 PM on Sep. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,655 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I was talk about borrowing her... i mean she obviously dosent get to see your kid a lot and im sure thats why she wants to come and spend time. Maybe thy could do the birthday thing earlier so the nephew dosent feel left out.

    Answer by PerfectLove910 at 9:22 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Would it be impossible for you and hubby to have grandma pick up your son and take him on a mini vacation for the birthday party. That way, you guys have more time together, your son gets to spend time with grandparents and extended family? I realize the bigger issue is distance, but it would be a compromise and all could be satisfied?

    Answer by Danaefm at 10:21 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • @PerfectLove910, they can do some other birthday thing another day, but they already have tickets to the play. (They can, however, probably find someone else to take the ticket if mom doesn't go. It's just that she won't be a part of it.)

    @Danaefm, my mom is actually visiting about a month before the party, and she half-jokingly mentioned taking my son with her, then "returning" him later after the party. I'm not even totally opposed to this (I would LOVE to get a break too), but mom, my brother, his work all work full-time, and dad takes classes part-time (plus he's not exactly comfortable watching a toddler by himself all day) - so there wouldn't be anyone to watch him while he's there. :(

    Comment by phoofy (original poster) at 10:33 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • I would talk to the brother to "borrow" mom. I mean she doesn't get to see your kid that often, but the nephew lives close enough for frequent visits.. Your kid deserves some Grammy time too!! (Coming from experience. My G-ma lived 8 hours away for most of my life and the one that lived in the same town never bothered to visit! ):

    Answer by mom2maddie06 at 10:46 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • No, I would tell my brother that I need mom and dad to come visit me and my family. Since he and his family can visit them anytime he want. Let your parent know how you feel. It's not like they can't celebrate your newphews birthday when they get back. How many birthdays have they enjoy with your child? I think they both should spend quality time with you child. Let him/her know what grandparents are for. God knows that tomorrow isn't promise to no one.

    Answer by TwannaB. at 10:52 PM on Sep. 22, 2010

  • Talk to your parents about it.

    Answer by sherribeare at 2:02 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

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