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Does this sound like love?

My boyfriend hardly plays with our son. When he does the things that he does my son does not like so he puts him down and then he cries. In other instances, he sits down and watches a movie and pushes our son out of the way so he can see. He never gives him a bath nor will he bathe with him. When it comes time to eat he never considers that our son is going to want some of his food. H e always looks at me to feed him or change him. I think that since he got a son the first time around anf he ahs his name that he would be proud. But it seems as if he just keeps coming up with excuses not to spend time with him

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JanellovesJJ

Asked by JanellovesJJ at 2:22 AM on Sep. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 5 (61 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • That is really sad. No, it doesn't sound like love to me. What other issues does your boyfriend have in his life? Something must have happened. I think he needs counseling. You should INSIST on it. If you can't afford it then try a minister.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 2:28 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • I can honestly say...This was my Dh. He was showered the boys with love, until they were about 2... then he felt the need to make them "man up". I pointed this out. I showed him how much he hurt them. Over the years he's changed. We didn't get counseling for it. I did however get family members involved. When he would shove one of the boys...someone would shove his @ss right back.

    Some men are just immature that way. If he is physically abusing your son, or if you think your sons development is at risk.... take more drastic precautions.

    I cannot say that he does or does not love his son based on what you've written. I wish love was as clear as day, but for some ppl it just isnt.

    I wish you luck.
    4xsthetrouble

    Answer by 4xsthetrouble at 2:38 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • he has some lingering issue somewhere.. that is not normal behavior.. I would address his past - present - and what he wants his future to be. that kind of behavior will affect your son if left unchecked
    MoMoFu

    Answer by MoMoFu at 2:44 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • What you wrote doesn't sound like love to me or even feel that there is any love in that , that you wrote. Yes men are funny but your Hubby needs a swift kick in his ass and treat your son with some respect and you need to bring this to his attention. Good luck and I hope there relationship gets a whole lot better.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 2:53 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • Consider this....Men don't attach to children like women do. They have trouble showing emotions towards curtain situations. However in your current situation I have been there. My childrens father didn't want our children and would have nothing to do with them at all. Never held, fed, bathes, bought anything for the children...NOTHING! Even when we were still together needless to say that realtionship ended 2 months after our first child was born...when I left him i found out I was 2 months pregnant with our other child. I would sit down with him and find out why he acts this way with his child and you. And if he isn't ready to be a father then he needs to move on. His behaviour will only teach your son this is how men are and its ok when its not. Good luck on this....If you need someone to talk to add me and I will be here for you....I have been thru this
    Alysa505

    Answer by Alysa505 at 9:28 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • Maybe he is jealous of all the time your son spends with you... And is a little resentful. And then again if they are not shown love as a child they may not know how to show love themselves.
    kamore

    Answer by kamore at 9:38 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • thank you for your feedback. i put this question out there because i felt like i might be missing something me being a mom of one and only having been an actual mom for a little over a year. i thought i might be off because i spend so much time with my son. i will sit him down and talk with him about the way he treats our son. thank you again ladies.
    JanellovesJJ

    Comment by JanellovesJJ (original poster) at 10:38 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

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