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Why isn't my son getting along with his step-father?

My son is 3yrs old and I got married in March. It has just been my son and I for about his whole life. His father is actively involved in his life but we never lived together or married. My son and his step-father butt heads when I'm around. My son doesn't want him to get him juice, turn on a tv show for him, make a sandwich for him, and definitely not play with him. Whenever my husband tries, my son is rude and snubs him. Then my husband just gives up and walks away! Hello...I need some help sometimes! If I work late (very rare) my husband will pick my son up from Daycare and they are great together but throw mom in the mix and it's "three's a crowd". What should I do? I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions!


Asked by AngAndFen at 11:37 AM on Oct. 20, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (3)
  • Hi there...I'm on the flip side of that coin. I'm a step mother with a three year old step son. And when it's just AJ and I we get along famously. When Daddy gets home, he acts like i'm the step-Monster instead of the step mother. Basically, it's up to you to be the one to fix the problem. We had a behavioral therapist come to our house for totally unrelated reasons. However, when she saw my stepson refuse my help, she said, "okay now daddy you can't help him."

    When your husband offers to get your son juice or do anything for him before you do, and your son says No then you just have to let him go without until he's willing to let step dad help him. it worked for us. Now when my husband says he's busy, my stepson comes looking for me.

    Hope this helps! and Good Luck!

    Answer by roan407 at 12:13 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Give your child some time it's a big change in his life and he may resent it for awhile in the begining. Allow the two of them to have alot of one on one bonding leave them together while you run some errands or have your husband take him on outings. With it just being the two of you for so long he may be scared about getting left out.

    Answer by at 2:59 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Thank you for your advice. I will try to work it out with both of them. I understand that I need to get my husband involved and tell him to not take it so personal! I know they love eachother and I KNOW they love me : )
    Thanks again,

    Answer by AngAndFen at 9:46 AM on Oct. 21, 2008