Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Mother-in-law killing us with kindness?

I work fulltime and hired a housekeeper 3 times a week but my MIL has taken it upon herself to springclean my house when I'm at work (without my permission).She packs my husband lunch (they have a very nice cafeteria at his company), she constantly comments on how thin he's getting and she cut my daughter's hair when we let her visit there.. to name a few. When I put up a fight, hubby insists she's doing it because she loves us and just wants to do something nice. Am I being a monster or is she blurring the boundaries (and taking a personal stab at me?)


Asked by CassyzMom at 4:57 AM on Sep. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,127 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • It's hard not to take things like that personally, in this society somehow we've developed the idea that we need to be "supermom's" and honestly that's just not realistic, somethings got to give, we can't do it all. So, try not taking things that she does personally, just say thanks, my MIL is the same way. I've just learned to accept that I am a great mother/wife and if she sees something that needs to be done she'll do it, and now I just let her without assuming that it's personal

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 9:31 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • You should ask your husband to have a talk with her about personal space..........

    Answer by sherribeare at 6:27 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • Some of its great, while cutting my son's hair would get my mother in law screamed at (by both my son & Me...Long story) I wouldn't mind her helping with the cleaning (is it sad that i said that & we all live in the house)

    There are some things taken too far & you & your husband both need to sit down & tell her as nicely as you can, you love her & you thank her for all her help, but cutting daughters hair, isnt something she should be doing. That is up to your daughter, you & hubby.

    Dont be too hard on her, it sounds like she knows your busy & is just trying to help out by saving you money & time (by doing spring cleaning for you, that leaves more family time.)

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 6:59 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • if we had been fortunate to live near family, I know they would have done what they could to be helpful. Since they are empty nesters, they have more time and appreciate the chance to spend time with the grandkids.

    Answer by tortkey at 5:42 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • If I were you I would sit down and talk to my husband about what boundaries I was comfortable with having with the inlaws. I would expect him to go with me and talk to his Mom about it, or talk to her about it himself. Everyone has to have some boundaries in their lives, sounds to me like it is time that you all set them!

    Answer by mommy11260 at 7:43 AM on Sep. 23, 2010