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What is a good reason to have a second child?

I am 41 and am 90+% sure I do not want another. I detested being an obstetric patient in Boston...everyone was so nasty until it was too late to refer me to testing I know isn't that reliable. I am pro life in a "pro choice" environment. I am happy with the one child I have and my only sibling wants nothing to do with us. However, my husband fears our daughter will have no family in her later years w/o a sibling, and that would be the only reason he would want one. What is a good vs a bad reason to have a second child, or to avoid doing so?

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Asked by mimismom436 at 11:41 AM on Oct. 20, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • I wouldn't have another child just so she will have family. I can't even stand most of my family. But I have a wonderful husband and a few close friends so I'm not alone.

    Answer by fairyinabubble at 11:46 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • If you both can not agree to having a second child I dont think you should,, tell you can both agree.

    Answer by louise2 at 11:47 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • I see where your husband is coming from. But that isn't a good enough reason to bring a child into the world, if that is the only reason. That was one of the reasons my husband and I tried for a year to have another child, but we also knew we wanted atleast 2 kids, and we were financially ready, we had plenty of room and we knew we had enough love to go around for 2 girls. We have 2 girls now and it is great knowing our oldest daughter has a little sister, we feel our family is complete now and we are not sure we want more. I have not ruled out more kids as I am not sure how bad my husband would want to try for a boy. I would say if you feel you are really done having kids then let that be the answer your looking for. I'm sure your daughter would rather you have her as an only child then to bring in a sibling for her that you didn't really want. ( even though I am sure you would love them the same)

    Answer by Izzyscrazymom at 11:54 AM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Having a sibling for your child would be nice, as you will not be around forever. However, like you said, having a sibling is no guarantee they will get along later in life. I would say good reasons to have more kids would be a desire on your part, the time, money, the energy. Reasons not to would be your health, not having the money or desire. At 41 your risk for a child with special needs is higher too. Just something to consider.

    Answer by cdgoldilocks at 12:04 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Having another little one around,

    he or she wouldnt be lonely,
    and of course they would always have someone to count on..
    when mom and dad were not around *dead*, someone to confide in, when their not wanting to talk to parents, Im prego with my 2nd
    and i couldnt be happier,
    this is a girl...and so my daughter now....and my daughter soon,
    will have tea partys and will always be close,
    just as i am with my family

    We are raised like that
    Being close no matter what, our downfalls are,

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 12:24 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • As long as you have the means (Ex... money and love) The rest will fall together. I did not want kids.... ever. I was more than happy to live a partiers life and never have to settle down. I even had a really hard time dealing with getting pregnant in the first place because I wasn't ready and I will not abort. But now that I have James, I would not give him up for anything. I still party, I just think of my son first when I do and make sure I have a babysitter. Family is important to some people. My family is the loud family that everyone gets along... my husband does not have that. Instead he has some close friends that we call Uncle and Aunt so and so...

    Answer by dlwsbjmknox at 12:43 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • It is completely possible to have two siblings grow to know that they have eachother in this world. My parents raised me with the thought that I am all I have in this world, and if I want something I have to do it for myself, but my brothers will always be there for me and love me. And Visa Versa

    Answer by dlwsbjmknox at 12:44 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • i think its the parents job to decide if they want one - dont just have a kid cause your daughter "needs" a sibling! thats insane!
    ifyou dont want to have another one then dont!

    Answer by vakatia at 1:44 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • If its not in your heart to have another- don't!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

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