Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I am about to scream!

My fiance was asking me why I don't give our son a bath, or change poopy diapers. I have given him a bath several times, and we always toss the baby when it comes to diapers. I have changed more poopy diapers then I can imagine. First, my fiancee always told me how much he enjoyed the bonding time they had when he gave him his bath. Secondly, I clean the house, do all the laundry (he makes more laundry then I do). Feed the pets, clean the house again ( fiance just drops his stuff where he is standing). I vaccuum ,grocery shop, and run most of the errands. NOT to mention that I am the one that gets up with Christopher 2-4 times a night to feed him. My fiance is not working now (he got a GREAT severance package). He does cook, but I clean up the kitchen (3rd time). I also clean up when I cook. I am exhausted all the time! So, long story short...is that wrong of me...to pass off the bathing of Christopher to him?

Answer Question
 
portakolis08

Asked by portakolis08 at 12:23 PM on Oct. 20, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • why don't you guys compromise and start doing everything together
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • no def not i think you should get a little help after doing everything all day long even if its a little break he should be more then glad to help you out
    LiLMAMA421

    Answer by LiLMAMA421 at 12:26 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Ha tell him if he wants to be the Daddy then he gets to do some of the work! You carried the baby, had the baby and you need a little bit of a break! I give Gauge a bath every other night- but the deal is, Daddy gets the baby bath water, holds Gauge up at the end of the bath for a final spray and he dumps the water. Baths only take like 3 minutes if your kid is young, so its easy. I'd make it clear that you bust your ass all day and you did not get prego alone.
    MommaWoods

    Answer by MommaWoods at 12:43 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • You are definitely not wrong. In fact, my DH is the one who gives most of the baths to our kids too, and he works full time. Or, he'll give our DD a bath while I help DS in the shower (which he can almost do all by himself now, except for putting soap on his back) just so I get a little break. Talk it out though. Maybe once you express to him how much you already do and how tired you are, he'll come around.
    icook

    Answer by icook at 1:14 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • no he should help out when he can. my dh gives our dd a bath every night he has off. the weekends are his days all i do is breastfeed her.
    MomWeb

    Answer by MomWeb at 1:48 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Ever read a book called "babyproofing your marriage"?? I just read it not too long ago and it's wonderful because it talks all about how much arguing you have when I newborn comes along. There's actually chapters on "scorekeeping" where each spouse likes to keep track of how much they do and arguements are started because each person feels like they are doing SSOO much. It tells you things from your point of veiw and also what your husband is thinking. The women who wrote it interviewed TONS of moms and dads and found out that most of us are the same when it comes to the fights we have in our marriage due to the stress of raising a new little person :).
    MyRainbowBabies

    Answer by MyRainbowBabies at 1:49 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • just tell him that of all the other things you do is there something he would like to trade you on?
    you both need to have "set" ideas on what each will take care of if you are running into - "i do more than you" situations
    vakatia

    Answer by vakatia at 2:12 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • There are some really good points that the other ladies have made...I would also like to suggest giving him the option. Such as "Would you like to give the baby a bath or clean the kitchen?" As for him leaving his stuff where he drops it, leave it there, he has become accustomed to you picking up after him. He needs to unlearn that. Only do the laundry that makes it to the laundry room or the laundry basket. They figure it out real quick when they have nothing to wear.
    MomShawn70

    Answer by MomShawn70 at 2:32 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • My husband was petrified to bathe our son, would not do it then and now almost 6 years later will still find something that must be done when Jordan is in the tub. So that wouldn't bother me, but on the other hand my husband was a diapering fool. He never complained about poop, he changed him all the time when he was home. He always took care of him in the morning when he got up for work until he left, which by then the baby was usually back to sleep for a couple more hours.
    See if you guys can choose your battles so to speak. If there is something that just freaks him out take it out of the line-up, but give him something that completely stresses you out.
    dhhaj

    Answer by dhhaj at 3:08 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • being husband and wife doesnt mean everything is fair. although most would like it to be . there are times where you will have to do more work and times where he will have to do more work. he should understand that your tired and be willing to take the extra work on for alittle while you relax. im in the same situation.
    stef_myster

    Answer by stef_myster at 5:04 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.