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plz help...tough situation.

im pregnant and getting a divorce through legal aide in pennsylvania. i havent seen my husband in 3 months and hes been with another girl the entire time. he says hes going to sign over his rights when the babys born. my question is...can i tell legal aide im pregnant or will it affect the divorce. can i get custody before my baby is even born? were afraid his family will try to take my baby. if all goes well, well be divorced before the baby is born. dont get me wrong...we decided that he could visit with myself or another of my family members around..im not trying to kick him out. i just dont trust him and his family and the girl hes with is legally insane. i cant even enjoy my pregnancy for the most part because all these things are running through my head.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Oct. 20, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (7)
  • dont put him on the birth certificate - most states would require him on the certificate for him to be able to fight for custody -
    just cause he got you pregnant doesnt mean he is a dad to your child
    vakatia

    Answer by vakatia at 1:59 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • im gonna do that but i also read somewhere that if were still married or if we were married when the baby was conceived hes considered the father no matter what and will be put on there. i know im probably worrying too much...he said he was gonna file for divorce months ago and im the one who ended up having to do it. hes very adament about not going to court but id just like to make sure i have custody.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Just don;t tell no one that ur pregnant and tell him he's not the father, I know it sounds bad, but they could take the baby from you. But usually they have to find some reason why you would be an unfit mother. Like maybe do you have a job, a home, any bad stuff on ur record?? They might look at that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • hes known for awhile. i have a job and an apartment and insurance. i have no record but he has a felony on his. theyre trying to say his was taken off but he just plead guilty to it last month.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Sweetheart...First contact your local social services department. Get everything in place you can before the baby comes or your divorce is finalized. They should have an advocate you can speak to about the legal matters as well. I do not think it could work against you in anyway to tell legal aid you are pregnat but find an advocate to discuss this with first. DO NOT put him on the birth certifcate. If you do not wish to seek child support ior visitation from this man tell everyone in every department that you are uncertain who the father is. If he wishes to pursue things he will have to get a paternity test.
    tat2edmommyof2

    Answer by tat2edmommyof2 at 2:53 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • From what your saying it dosn't sound like he would be someone who would be able to get custody. with the cheating and felony. I would just tell them im pregnant and that you want to keep the baby but let him visit. they usally don't take the baby away from the mom unless she has a drug problem or can't take care of it because of no job and stuff like that.
    BabyGsMaMa13

    Answer by BabyGsMaMa13 at 3:10 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • in order for him to get custody he needs to prove to the court that your an un fit parent and if you feel uncomfortable around him and if his gf is legally insane that is your proof that he is an unfit parent and in the state of pa and new york it is extremely hard if not impossible for the father to get custody of the child
    also a court will demand proof of DNA match

    i know this cause my husband lived in pa and he couldn't get custody of his daughter
    Mommy2Be1212009

    Answer by Mommy2Be1212009 at 4:01 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

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