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What can I do about my son who will be 18 tomorrow dating a 14 year old girl?

He is a freshmen in college and she is a freshmen in high school. I thought that they were just friends until I did an little snooping and seen where they both tell each other that they love each other. My son is a very shy good looking kid who is probably flattered that this girl likes him. He's the type to fall for someone easily. I told him that it is illegal for him to be physical with her and he didn't want to talk about it. I think the girls mom is ok with it because she has taken him out to dinner a couple of times, I find that disturbing. The only way he can really see her is if I a drive him ( he has his permit and just failed his driving test for the 2nd time, I guess that's kind of good). This is really hard because he wants to see her today and I know that he will beg me to bring him to the park to meet up with her. Tomorrow is his birthday and I will hate to see him upset on his birthday.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Sep. 23, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • Get him some info about birth control methods and effetiveness. If you think you need to show him where and how to buy it. Condoms and foam together are over 99% effective. Tell him that if they ever have sex it is his responsibility to not get her pregnant and ruin their lives.

    Planned Parenthood used to have this booklet about what all can happen to the the boy if they get a girl pregnant. Things like it being illegal if she is under a certain age and what could happen, how much child support adds up too, what custody battles are like, ect. You might see if that is online or find info like that. It impressed my boys. Just because they are dating doesn't mean they are having sex. I dated the same guy from the time I was 15 until almost 18 until I had sex.


    Answer by Gailll at 11:32 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • I think there needs to be a tight rein on these two if you proceed. I certainly would do everything to discourage it. You need to have a heart to heart with your son and tell him he has an entire life ahead of him in college with girls his own age. Girls that won't lead to a jail cell. Personally, I think there is something wrong with a mother who would let her 14 y/o daughter date a college freshman to begin with. You are right on track with being very cautious. If he should get caught and charges pressed for sex with a minor, consensual or not he will have to register as a sex offender the rest of his life. It is time he understood he is an adult in the eyes of the law and this little girl is probably not worth it. Stick to your guns mom. He will be upset but he will thank you someday.

    Answer by LaughingDoc at 1:56 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • If you don't talk to him about the seriousness of this situation.He will be takeing a mug shot instead of just a photo for his licence.This is his future your talking about.Sex is not worth his future.You should not uphold him in his wrong.You need to stop upholding him in his wrong.It seems to me you fear him.Honey you better stand your ground and what you know is right

    Answer by ayneka at 2:07 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • my husband dated me when i was 14 and he was just getting ready to turn 19. he used to get slapped across the face by me for trying lol. he said it is why he loved me so much because i was not willing to just give it out. we broke up for a while , then got back together years later.

    Answer by sherryb1273 at 10:05 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • Being 18 tommorrow He should not have any contact with a 14 year old who is not related to him. You need to make that very clear. It is very easy for charges to be put against him as an adult. Not a risk he wants to make with his future.

    Answer by martinmommy26 at 11:45 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I would tell him he is consider a child preditor. and if he were to have sex it's rape.

    Answer by bubasmom04 at 8:34 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • Cut if off now. You dont want his life ruin over this. There are plenty of girls in college suitable for him cause he's gonna leave the 14yr ole anyway in the long run if her parents dont cutt it off sooner.

    Answer by mekarevell at 1:02 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Please tell her parents

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:34 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • That is completely unacceptable. They are in totally different places mentally.

    Answer by SoniaL at 6:15 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • wow this might sound harrsh but i would take him to the police station and have an officer explain to him what can happen to him if this girl gets a hair up her butt one day because he makes her madd or my family we have a saying that 17 will get you 20...meaning messing with anyone under 18 will land your but in jail......this needs to be a harash reality check and i would honesly talk to this girls parents bout this because at 14 this girl should be worring about her clothes and the lates happens at school not a collage age man .......

    Answer by cara124 at 9:51 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

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