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Help with husband and myself connecting again

I am a stay at home mom with my two girls and my husband is always gone to work or gone to army drill. And when he comes home he is tired. It is like we never have time to ourselves cause we dont get out just him and me. He says nothing is wrong with him and everything is fine and our marriage is just fine. Which it is but i would like to get out once in awhile with him. He says well you make the plans it is like he cant use his head and make plans for us to go out. Plus i cant drive cause of medical reasons. It just gets so hard sometimes i want to sream. Help plz if anyone can thanks

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Asked by sneville76 at 11:46 AM on Sep. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (32 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • You do not have to go out to reconnect. Going out just gives you time alone, but that isn't what truly reconnects you to one another. How you treat, approach, view, etc.. one another is what reconnects you. What connected the two of you to begin with? Was it the going out together, or was it the things you did for one another, the way you looked at one another, the way you touched, the way you smiled..etc..

    Reconnecting is a matter of action and intention. Those actions and that intention can be displayed right there at home during your everyday life. You can make time for just the 2 of you at home as well. At night after the kids go to be, set aside 15 minutes (minimum) for the 2 of you. During this time, you do nothing but focus/talk about the 2 of you. No the kids, not bills, not work, not what needs to be fixed/cleaned/bought/done etc. Just focus on the 2 of you as a man and a woman in love.


    Answer by pixie_trix at 11:51 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • Start showing love/affection whenever you are around one another. Hold hands while watching tv together. Dance in the kitchen. Walk by and touch one another, just a hand sliding across the shoulder or down the back. Smile, laugh, flirt, have fun.

    These are the types of things that connect a couple. And there is no going out required. Just intent and action.

    Reconnecting isn't hard if both of you want to reconnect.

    I've been married 25 years, a whole lot of reconnecting for a whole lot of reasons can and does happen over a span of that many years.. lol And what I havce learned about connnecting and staying connected is that it is far easier than we as people think it is, recapturing that spark isn't hard. It just takes wanting to, and stepping out of a comfort zone sometimes to get the ball rolling. But once you take those steps, it sooooo worth it..

    Answer by pixie_trix at 11:54 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • Well if you can't get out, then put the kids to bed early and have 'date night in' --- turn off the tv, phone and distractions and then spend the night relaxing together, talking and reconnecting.
    Since my hubs and I both work full time and work different schedules-- we make it a point to sit down together for 10-15 minutes when he gets home from work and we talk about our day, what the kids are up to--- and anything/everything that comes to mind. We are fortunate to have both our moms close by, so we do get to have 'date night' once in a while w/o kids.

    Answer by MizLee at 12:05 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • Wow, this sounds just like what i go through,your not alone.My husband is in army reserve works full time and does school online which i know can get very stressfull, i also have three little girls and i feel like i need a social life sometimes and just need to be able to spend some quality time with him.but he tells me the same thing you make the plans think of something to do and well do it.It gets aggrivating cause i feel like he just doesnt care,but then again he has alot going on and some men are just like this, completly cluless.He is getting better after i expressed how i felt,but it wont happen overnight.Just let him know how you feel and for the time being you make the plans and see how it goes.

    Answer by iluvmykidsxoxo at 1:32 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

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