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5 Bumps

i need some advice...i dont know what to do

so my husband is a good man and father...i love him very much...he is in school and we are building a house...but i dont really want to be married...i dont know why or what made me not want to be married but i just dont want to be married i dont want to loose him or my kids but i dont know...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Sep. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • why?you havent give a reason why be in a relationship with a person that u love,and no be stable.or maybe you dont want string attachs.you need to be clear for your kids sake what it is that you really want.good luck
    mwood108

    Answer by mwood108 at 12:18 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • You don't want to be married but you want to be with him......Confusing.
    Try counseling for yourself. Get down to the route of the problem.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:18 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • Please don't take this as being rude...cause I am sure not trying to be, but I am confused. I don't understand if you love him why you wouldn't want to stay married to him? Maybe this is something to talk to a marriage counceler about if you are wanting to hold your relationship together with him. Maybe they can have more answers. I am sure if you tell your husband that you don't want to be married and you don't want to loose him neither, this may make him think that there is something going on. Sorry I couldn't be of more help though.
    motherof4and2

    Answer by motherof4and2 at 12:19 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • i felt that way too at one pont in our relationship i love my husband but i thought that if i needed to get out of a relationship quicker than longer i didnt want to get married but as time went by it got better and the feelings went away i think i was just scared of getting hurt and not being able to escape the situations fast enough... but every situation is different
    ACOVILLION

    Answer by ACOVILLION at 12:32 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • My personal thoughts.

    You share that you love him, don't want to lose him.......But at the same time you are feeling like you don't want to be married any longer.

    Is it possible, that what you are feeling really isn't about marriage/your husband. But what you are feeling is about yourself. Could you be feeling like there is something missing, like you need to get out and spread your wings, like there's something more out there for you.........etc.. Feelings along those lines??
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 12:33 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • I know how that feels and I'm currently in that situation, its been on going for a few years. I left everything, moved into my own place. I was there for 8 months while he fought for me to come home. I finally came home but I knew then that it was wrong and that it wasn't time. We spent about another 7 months or so still at each others throats over all this (there's a lot more to this). I've in counseling for three years and I know why I felt the way I do/did - I think it would be in your best interest to go to counseling for yourself and get to the core of the issues. (Building a house is one of the many things that cause couples to push each other away and divorce - Our couples counselor see's people get divorced during this all the time.)
    Once you know the problem then maybe couples counseling to try to resolve not only your issues but the relationships as well.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:49 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • You are in a rut. It happens. Please don't ruin things because of it, you will regret it. If this goes on for like a year, then it's not a rut. If there is more to it, it's not a rut. Go to therapy to try and figure it out. Just don't tell him until you are sure, don't ruin things.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 4:29 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • i hear ya.. except i dont want to be married because no matter how many times i ask for help he wont help me even when im on bedrest cus of premature labor at 31 weeks,and still no help. im fed up.. sorry
    mayo9mommy

    Answer by mayo9mommy at 10:26 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • You sound stressed and like you feel trapped. You know you love him and want to be with him. That is the biggest part of marriage. You are likely just feeling restless. Do some things for yourself... . Something small pedicure or a weekend girls get-away. Take a class or do something that
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 3:44 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

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