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2 Bumps

angry kids

My son is not really around his dad and is starting to act out about it. Now before I get bashed I will let him see his dad anytime it is a big part of a kids life to have both parents i believe to bad he doesnt agree. Anyway my son keeps saying he hates his dad and other mean things and taking his anger out on his cousins. Has anyone else ever had this problem, and what do you do about it?

Answer Question
 
Brat0066

Asked by Brat0066 at 12:22 PM on Sep. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I dont understand how some dads can just walk away & not look back. Where is their paternal instinct? I would get some counseling for him & I would get some positive males in his life. Whether it be friends, neighbors, family, or thru Big Brothers- the boy needs to know he is cared for & valued by a positive male influence- who can teach him how to become a man. Sorry mom, but as hard as we may try as a parent, they need a man too. (That goes for girls too- they need the same thing so they make better choices when it comes time to choose a SO) Good luck!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 12:28 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • Children do not have to be around their dads. How you handle it makes all the difference in the world. My son never met his father and it was no big deal, he didn't act out, and I didn't blame behavior problems on him not having a father in his life. You don't say how old he is. At different ages you say different things to kids about their dad. The important thing is to let them know it's not their fault their dad isn't around, it's just the way he is. If your son never hears the word hate he is never going to use it. I had 3 sons and I don't think any of them ever said they hated anyone. Tell your son lots of kids don't have dads and there is nothing wrong with just having a mom. Kids don't have to have dads around or dads that come and visit. It's not his fault his dad doesn't come. Avoid bad mouthing his dad and you saying you hate him.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 12:34 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • I have this same problem with my ex and my daughters. He has four kids, 2 are my girls. He sees his other two all the time but never his daughters, so they get angry with him a lot. He doesn't even call them. I just believe if you show your children you love them, and be there for them to express their feelings to you about the situation, then that will go a long way. It may not happen over night because that anger will always be there but it helps
    motherof4and2

    Answer by motherof4and2 at 12:38 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • It sounds like he shouldn't be playing with other kids until he gets his behavior under control or he needs to be watched all the time. You may have to stay home for awhile and work on stress management. Kids can learn stress management techniques like deep breathing and meditation. There are lots of progressive meditation web sites. What works for stress management for my toddler grandson is music videos. Music can be theraputic, he has a painful medical condition.


    The book Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary is very good. She has a web site called star parenting. She is a therapist and has books about anger in young children.  

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 12:43 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • Ok so my son is four I do not like the word hate so I do not use it. I correct him when he says it but i do allow him to say he does not like things. I do not bad mouth his father, that is not a situation a kid should be put in the middle of. He sees his dad every great once in a while and the last time he did it was with his new girl friend and his son. He thinks he loves this kid more then him and doesnt understand that he is very much wrong
    Brat0066

    Comment by Brat0066 (original poster) at 10:12 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

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