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It's not my fault...but

why do I still feel like shit? Okay so my moms car broke down (again for the 50th time)
and she needed a ride to work. So I told my DH that I was gonna take the car (he was half asleep) and he told me that if I took her it'd have to be early (5 o'clock early due to him going to bingo later on). So I didn't catch the other thing he said because he was mumbling. So I left it. So today my stepdad calls and asks me what he said and I said the 5 o'clock. So we hang up and not even 20 mins later my mom calls back, full of attitude and says "I'm not getting up at 4 fucking o'clock to have you drive me to work 3 hours early. You can tell J that I hope he has a good time at bingo." (her work starts at 7 o'clock) and hangs up. Now I feel like shit. Like it's my fault I didn't forsee her car breaking down, this was sprung on us yesterday she needed a ride. So DH comes home and tells me that he had told me last night that if he took (con)

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Mrs.Halloween

Asked by Mrs.Halloween at 12:57 PM on Sep. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,884 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • her he could be there at 6 o'clock. (Which is only an hour early) and he also told me my mom called his phone and left HIM an attitude message along of the lines of 'Hey J thanks for the ride...NOT.' So...wtf. I'm just really upset right now. Should I have done more? It's not my fault I didn't understand him last night, I was tired from working all day. More of a vent question but what should I do now? I feel like shit and I really don't feel like talking to my mom right now. I highly doubt she's even gonna take the ride from DH (he had called and talked to my stepdad and explained the whole setup). IDK how I can talk to my mom about this. It really upsets me that she's got to jump my shit when it's not even my fault.
    Mrs.Halloween

    Comment by Mrs.Halloween (original poster) at 12:57 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • She's not grateful that you're willing to help out? Sounds like her problem and not yours.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 12:59 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • I'd tell her exactly what you said in this post.

    You feel like shit, especially since you weren't able to help her.
    UpSheRises

    Answer by UpSheRises at 1:01 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • You were doing her a favor, she sounds ungrateful... Are there any buses she can take?
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 1:02 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • No, there's no bus routes in the city she lives in. However, the next town over does, but it's a long walk.
    Mrs.Halloween

    Comment by Mrs.Halloween (original poster) at 1:03 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • I had an issue similar to this with my own mother... she ripped into me eventhough I couldn't really control the situation. After getting really frustrated from being yelled at... I told her she had one of 3 options... she could be at work an hour early, she could take the bus there or she could find her own way there. My mother stormed out of the room and then came found me later and decided that she would let my husband take her to work an hour early. It was a stressful event and I did kinda feel like it was my fault even though i knew that I couldn't do much about it and I was trying to help. Be strong... an answer will come to you
    justduckie_mom

    Answer by justduckie_mom at 1:04 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • She is your mother and the only one you have. I don't agree that she should have popped off on you, but if you put yourself in her shoes for a moment, maybe she was embarrassed to have to ask and because of the difficulty, popped an attitude. It may not be frustration at you, but at her own situation. On the other side of the coin, you were trying to be helpful and she should not have taken the attitude that you didn't care and ... I have to throw in here also, Bingo? I understand that it is a fun game and all, but really? Wouldn't the situation with your mom warrant your husband missing one night of Bingo? Maybe he could go in later? If you step back and look at the situation, it seems that the priorities are all out of line. Family should come first. Helping family should rank far above Bingo in my book any and every day. It's bingo for goodness sake. If your husband needed a ride, would your mom give him one?
    aubie1170

    Answer by aubie1170 at 1:08 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • Your mother is acting like a child. If she doesnt want the ride she should walk to work!
    tiger_tatted1

    Answer by tiger_tatted1 at 1:08 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • aubie1170 - The thing is this is his only night to do anything. He works 70+ hours a week. He only has one day and that's even after 1/2 days work. And today is that day that it's his time.
    Mrs.Halloween

    Comment by Mrs.Halloween (original poster) at 1:10 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • You shouldn't feel bad. You offered your help, and your mother acted selfish and petty. She is the one who should feel bad.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 1:15 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

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