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How often to you and your parnter argue?

When you do argue, do either of you yell? I have a couple times, when I get really heated, but I try not to, I find it disrespectful. I was trying to have a conversation with my SO last night, and it was getting a little heated (we were out to dinner). We left, and I tried to diffuse the situation and kiss him and calm him down, it didn't work. To me, it wasn't a big issue, but I guess it was to him, and he got all heated and was yelling at me in the car. He isn't a yeller.

My ex-husband would yell and be demeaning, and I just don't like being yelled at in any way. I feel distant from him now, and I'm sure it will pass. I know very well he is not my ex, but I have this fear that if this type of thing happens more, then I will grow to resent him, and I will leave. I'm nervous about bringing it up, because I tend to stick my foot in my mouth and things don't come out right. Any suggestions on how to approach it?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Sep. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • If anybody says they never argue I won't believe them. I really think it can't always be smooth, it's impossible and boring!! We have 7 children and we do argue about them sometimes, we argue about sex, work, money, housework etc etc etc... We do yell sometimes but that's us. We never take it personally and we never go to bed mad.

    Answer by mysevenkids at 3:24 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • My Dh and I get a spat going at least 2 times a week. Usually when we travel too we both are control freaks. But we never fight in front of the kids we will tell the kids mom & dad are taking a time out and go to our bedroom and try to discuess it.

    Answer by bubasmom04 at 3:24 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • we tend to have one huge spat a month. yelling anddoor slamming sometimes occurs. but we work through it. specialy if he gives me space to cool down

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 3:29 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • mine yelled at me once this past wk in the 2 yrs or so we have been married. now just little spats i would say 1-4 times a month. usually about me being my neurotic self as always. gosh you'd think by now he'd be used to it.

    Answer by melody77 at 4:13 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • The last real argument we had was about three months ago. We have little disputes that we easily resolve more often, but about 4-5 times a year we get into really big ones where we scream and bring up stuff that has nothing to do with whats happening now, or bring up stuff that we didn't even know bothered us. However, we have a firm no arguing in front of the kids rule because we feel its important for them to feel safe and for them to feel like we are unified. We try not to yell, and they always start as calm rational discussions, but then one of us starts getting a little loud, and then we both do, and then I start to cry and it gets really ugly. We always eventually work through it.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 4:13 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • we argue like on the daily but about stupid stuff, ever since DD has been here ( almost 3 weeks) we have seen that it is hard to stay mad at eachother or even get mad at eachother for longer than like 5 mins. im hoping it lasts =0!

    Answer by hotmommy420 at 4:34 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • we have only been together 7months, we have had a few arguements, but never got to the point of yelling, i hate and wont take. seen enough of it as a kid so if i feel like im gettin to heated i walk of to cool me down and come back when i am ready to discuss it on a normal level. i will also walk away from him and tell him to talk to me when hes ready. i cant stand yelling.

    Answer by otoole at 4:43 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • My ex husband and I used to argue constantly. It was awful. My boyfriend of 6months now and I don't really argue at all. When there is a conflict we both tell our sides or opinions on the situation, and go from there. When you argue, try doing something like that. Make a truce to hear each other out. It makes a huge difference! I wish my ex husband and I had been able to do that.

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 7:38 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

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