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How do you tell your friend that her son is possibly autistic? Or is it none of my business?

2 1/2 year old boy who only says couple words throws major tantrum. The mother seems to be in denial and comes up with all sorts of excuses for his behavior besides "autism" Do I tell her to wake up and get help for the boy, or not say anything?

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Asked by Hazuki at 12:16 AM on Jul. 2, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (6)
  • I think you should suggest it as a possibilty. If she doesn't take the advice, at least you know you tried. I was unaware that autism was characterized by tantrums. I know lack of speech or other motor development, or an aptness for something far beyond the means of most children that age are.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 12:27 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • I would leave it alone. There's more to autism than just tantrums and a lack of speech. Some kids are late talkers and boys tend to talk later than girls. Since he is two years old, tantrums should be expected. Unless you're a doctor or have dealt with autism yourself, I'd just let it go for now.

    Answer by lovinmystar at 12:31 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • I would say if you know 100% then maybe get some information about it. first if it was me, i would ask my friend if she knew anything about autism. If her son did specific things that i thought was autistic then i would say, have you had him seen by a specialist or something to that effect. i had a friend her son was 4 and didnt talk and would seem autisic His parents couldn`t accept it. but in the end he was autistic. and they thanked me later for the suggestion so they were able to get help. i wasn`t sure it was autism i just thought somethings he did was things i seen or read on cafemom so i gave her the information.. my point yes as a friend in a gentle way speak to the mom. good luck!

    Answer by 1boy1girl4me at 1:25 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • I would deffiently gather info to back your accustions before you tell her. I do think you should mention it to her so she can have him evulated and get him the treatment he needs if he does have it. Be prepared for her to get upset with you at first though, but once she realizes that you just have her sons interest best at heart she will come around. Good luck and if you need any advice from someone raising an autistic child I am always here just drop me a line!!

    Answer by redtang912 at 10:00 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • well autism cant be diagnosed at such a young age but warning signs are present... there are different types of autism thats why they wait until 4 yrs old ... boys are usually late in talking and if they cant communicate they will throw tantrums ... tell her to read up on autish or get her some reading materials - she will be standoffish at first but if you leave stuff for her to read there is a large chance she will pick it up -
    its hard for bystanders to appropriately diagnose a behavior illness/problem and if she has the knowledge on what signs to look for she will know when its time to get the boy checked.
    besides he most likely has a pedi and they are trained to see these things. good luck - oh and if you do leave her stuff to read dont bugg her about reading it cause if she is stubborn as you say she is she will try not to read it out of spite.

    Answer by vakatia at 12:29 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • Are you a doctor?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 PM on Jul. 27, 2008

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