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Would you say anything?

I think my friend should have her toddler screened for developmental delays, but I'm not sure if or how to approach the subject. Part of me thinks she has to be in denial to not see it for herself and part of me thinks it's just because her life is in a bit of turmoil right now..... Not sure how to proceed.


Asked by new_mom808 at 7:43 PM on Sep. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

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This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Depends on where you think the delays are and how old they are. They are screened at 36 months for developmental delays... some states call it preschool screening. It is required. But, if the child has been having regular check ups with their pediatrician, they are pretty accurate in detecting most delays and recommending intervention.

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 8:30 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • be very very very careful here. consider how you might take it if someone approached you on a sensative topic like this. maybe going out mom and mom for coffee, holding her hand, looking her in the eyes, and just telling her from your heart that You are concerned.

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 7:47 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • The turmoil could also explain the child's delays. This is a sensitive subject, and you could hint at it in conversation...but ultimately (unless you are trained to spot developemental delays, you have a degree or equivalent) you are not more qualified than mom to notice and should be careful when pointing it out. Now, if you are qualified, it would be much easier to broach the subject as she could trust your expertise to her blindness....tough situation for sure.

    Answer by stringtheory at 7:51 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • It could be that she doesn't notice it since she is around them all the time. I would just ask her if she has noticed how he doesn't do this or that.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 7:47 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • I agree, string. And that's what we all thought at first. 9 months ago. But it's been 9 months and he's not really gaining any ground. No, I dont have any training in this area at all. The thing of it is, that I've had this conversation w/ at least 4 of her other friends (they bring it up.) I've even had other moms (that know me and only know her in passing) approach me and ask if he's okay. It seems to be the general thinking of everyone who knows them.

    Comment by new_mom808 (original poster) at 8:02 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • he should go in for his 36 month WCV soon. I'll just keep my fingers crossed. She can get pretty emotional and this is definately an emotional issue. I'll wait and see rather than risk our friendship over it. If it goes on, I may have to find a way to say something and risk the friendship over her son not getting help, or at least evaluated.

    Comment by new_mom808 (original poster) at 8:48 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • Good thinking. A few years ago, I wouldve said just let it go, teachers will catch it in school. But I have a friend with two autistic boys and was amazed at what early intervention can do. I agree its worth saying even if a friendship is at risk...maybe the other friends you mentioned could all sorta hint seperately (not so she feels ganged up on,) but if you aren't the only one noticing, it could help if a few people lightly touch on the one subject...know what I mean?

    Answer by stringtheory at 10:02 PM on Sep. 23, 2010