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I have been depressed for about 4 weeks now. I miscarried last week and it is getting worse every day. I am supposed to move in with my fiance on the 30th, I already signed the paperwork and gave my notice, plus we were getting married in November. I have 2 girls, 4 and 2 and they already call him daddy. I am to the point that it is hard to get out of bed and looking in his face just makes me cry. He has agreed to hold off the wedding but he really wants to move in. I told him that I need space and it is really hurting him. I cant even kiss him anymore. I dont want to hug him either. My dad was hit by a drunk driver the other day and was hit head on. He was released from the hospital today and is going to be fine but it was even hard to hug him. I am seeing my counselor and my psychiatrist already. I am on antidepressants and have been for over a year.
Is me wanting space right now ok or should I let him move in?

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Asked by tiffs2009 at 7:57 PM on Sep. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • gee.... really i don't know. on one hand it would be good for you because you would have more help with the kids. on the other hand, the relationship is strained already and that might just throw it over the edge. it's such a tough situation. i guess you really just need to weigh all the pros and cons of having him move in and see what you come out with. maybe your psychiatrist can offer some suggestions? i really feel bad for you and i wish you the best. (((hugs)))

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:01 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • if he is a good man for sure and you will treat him all right even if youre depressed then yes. let him into your life and your kids, .dont lose sight of the fact that YOU have a purpose on this earth regardless of how easy or hard things are., i am separated in a domestic vilence situation from the love of my life i thought, and I am making it thru each day. my sisters froiend just hanged herself in nyc and my sister told me tonight hold onto life no matter what . it puts things into perspective ., BUCK up for your girls!!! they need to see you smile and show them that life is worth living. they are so small or young they look to you for an example of how to be a woman and deal with this wacky world. hugs to you get out of bed and smile at that man if he treats you guys right you dont know how lukcy you are i thought i had that

    Answer by silverelf at 8:03 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • I think if you wanting space is what you really want, then that's what you need!! I am sooooo sorry that all this has happened to you. :-( My heart really breaks for you! I think your best bet is keep talking to a counselor. Maybe the antidepressants aren't working well with you and maybe need to switch them up. Also maybe talking to some girlfriends would help. I know that keeping to yourself will only make things worse.

    I wish you the best!! Keep your head up and know that the way you feel is ok. You have been to A LOT!!!

    Helping Moms Work From Home

    Answer by alyssamal at 8:09 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • Let him move in. Let him in your heart as well. He lost a child as well, remember that. I am so sorry, for the both of you. For your miscarriage, and about your dad. But you need to realize that your fiance is hurting as well, about the miscarriage and that he can't do anything to help you. I think if you go on with the move, and put more energy back into your lovely girls, and your fiance, you will start to heal. Also, you will be able help each other, and you will be closer. It doesn't mean you have to always be up each others ass. You can still have your space, your 'me' time. But it's important to not totally withdrawal from those that love you and need you. It will take you much longer to heal by doing that. Just be honest with him about how intimate you feel comfortable in getting, I'm sure he will be willing to let you take the lead. Just let him in, and talk with each other.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 9:57 PM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • We talked and he is not moving in and we are not getting married. He has not eaten for 3 days and is going to the doctor today. I started getting depressed after I had to say good bye to my ex about 2 months ago. We were together for almost a year and after we lost a baby and his kids were denied to him he had an emotional breakdown. My fiance knew why I was depressed before I did.

    Comment by tiffs2009 (original poster) at 4:11 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

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