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3 Bumps

If I left the state before being ordered not to leave with the kids?

I left an abusive situation with my husband and have documented everything well. I talked with my lawyer at that point and time and was told that I could leave with the kids and that my husband could file to bring me back but I could fit it and would win based on the history of his abuse. He wasnt abusive to the children. My husband filed for divorce, and now, a month later I recieved court orders for the proceedings. In those it says neither of us are allowed to take the kids out of state. But I already have and because of the restraining order in place at that time (its no longer in place) I couldnt contact him nor him to me. So I am curious, am I going to have to move back to the state in which I came from or not because I left before this order was in place?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:15 AM on Sep. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Best to ask a lawyer about this.

    IMO, I would not go back. You have proof what type of dad and DH he is and proof you moved before all the court stuff went down. Do not let him rule your world any more.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:19 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • If you left because you were in danger and can prove it, you should be fine. But I'd definitely get a lawyer.

    Answer by mollgirl at 5:35 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I really think its something you shoudl get legal advice on, because each state has different legalities on things like this so you really cant know for sure on your case unless you getting info from a professional.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 6:20 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • It really depends on what the laws are in your state. Please be careful and not just take opinions here because what women on cafemom think will hold no weight in this area. If it is a state law that this is common practice (which in many it is) it will not matter if you left before the papers were in order and you could possibly be in violation. I would recommend putting a call into the court system where you used to live and asking them directly. That is the absolute only way you can be sure to get the right answer. I don't believe him being abusive to you will affect whether or not you can leave the state if the law states that you cannot. I'm sure they will work with you to ensure that your safety is protected.

    Answer by AmeliasMommy206 at 8:00 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • Like others say, it depends. If your husband has not abused your children, it is very likely he will get split custody of the kids though. My ex was abusive, and when we went to court for custody, I was told by a judge that his abuse to me didn't affect his chances with our child, because even though I was in danger, there was nothing to suggest my daughter was. Thankfully my ex decided he doesn't want to see our daughter anyways, so I lucked out there, but if he had, they would have split the custody.

    I would contact family court in the area the papers were filed. Explain the situation to them and they can tell you what you can and can not do

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I'd talk to my attorney

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:24 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • maybe a women's abuse shelter can answer that question-

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 2:57 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I would contact your lawyer that told you that you were okay to leave in the first place. Let him know what is going on and not come back until you legally had to.. You had left before he filed these papers,if you have records that states your last bills in that state or anything along that lines you should be covered. It is just another scare tactic, to go along with the abuse that you say he was good at before.

    Answer by kgardner62411 at 11:09 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

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