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feeling guilty

How many of you moms feel guilty for trying to get housework done and letting kids play by themselves, or what are your secrets?! My son takes a 1-2 hour nap a day, so that leaves me with very little time to get things done around the house and get dinner started while he's sleeping. I feel like I'm cheating him out of quality time by getting things done around the house, but if I don't do house stuff, then I feel guilty that my hubby comes home to a disaster and no dinner! How do you get your house clean or dinner made and not feel like an awful mom? I try to involve him in what I'm doing (giving him an empty bowl and spatula while I'm cooking) but he's only 15 months old, and is into EVERYTHING - it is fun, but difficult to get things done. Thanks!

Answer Question

Asked by TarraJoy at 8:56 AM on Sep. 24, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 10 (381 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I tell my lo that Mommy has work to do, sometimes he "helps," sometimes he plays by himself. I don't feel guilty, it's good that he can play alone and I don't have to entertain him every minute :)

    Answer by Scuba at 9:00 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I put my youngest in her little play area to play and my oldest I tell her its color time! That way they aren't fighting or bothering each other while I get things done. I really don't feel bad about it because when else am I going to get time to do it?

    Answer by MizAnn at 9:04 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • My son doesn't take naps and hasn't for almost a year and a half (hes two). The doctor said we were just blessed with one of the 10% of children that do not need a lot of sleep. So I usually just set the baby monitor in whatever room he is in and I will go upstairs and put away the laundry while he is playing with his toys.

    Answer by Misteh at 9:04 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • How much time do you spend a day on chores? I feel like I'm never caught up! Maybe I just need more coffee and move my booty a little faster:) Luckily, my son does play really well by himself

    Comment by TarraJoy (original poster) at 9:06 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • My youngest is 5 now but for sure do not feel guilty about letting him play a lone for a bit while you take care of supper or switch laundry. It's not like you threw him to the wolves. I am sure you have him in a safe play environment, and even though you are doing other stuff he is within ear shot and 99% of the time with in eye sight too. Playing w/o you for a bit helps build character for themselves and exercises their imagination!

    Answer by BellaKristy at 9:07 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • Don't feel guilty! Children need periods of entertaining themselves. It fosters imagination and creativity. If constantly entertained they will not be independent and resourceful. As long as he is safe and you can keep an eye on him, relax and let him play by himself ocassionally. Best wishes

    Answer by elizabr at 9:08 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I think all mothers struggle, at least for a while, trying to find that balance of being a wife and being a mother and being an individual, and finding time for all of those roles in her life. And I think we all go through our bouts of feeling guilty or inadequate. We all just have to get to a point where we can trust that we're doing what we know is best, what we have to do, and that we're making the best choices we can for our family. We WILL make mistakes, but the great thing is that even though they may seem huge to us, they're really not as big a deal as they seem, and our kids usually don't even notice. At the end of the day what matters most is that you're giving your child a loving home where he/she feels safe and has his/her needs met. Its the relationship that matters, too, not whether you succeed at doing everything perfectly. Because none of us do.

    But I don't think cooking/cleaning is a mistake, lol. ;)

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 9:34 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I have a 13 month old and a 2 week old. My 2 week old spends most of the day taking naps, and I'm breastfeeding him, so he wakes up every couple of hours to nurse. My 13 month old on the other hand wants to play and do everything mommy does! I put her in her room to play, since we live in an apartment its easy to hear what she is doing and then I can clean. My husband is very understanding though if I don't have all the chores done or dinner made, but I would like to be able to do it all in a days work. He works 12 hour days and sometimes more, it would be nice if I wasn't so worn out and I could cook him dinner. I feel don't feel guilty for letting my daughter play by herself though, because she needs that time to work her imagination and know that she cant always have me to play with.

    Answer by Becca1189 at 12:29 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

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