Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how do you handle a step child that argues with everything you ask of him?

Every time i ask my step son to do something he always grumbles and just wants to sit around and do nothing. I think his mom doesnt make him do anything. he does spend a week with us and a week with his mom and step dad. i just dont know what to with my 10 year old.

Answer Question
 
brezzadawn

Asked by brezzadawn at 10:27 AM on Sep. 24, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • My SO will remind him that if he isn't respectful or doesn't do as he is told, the punishment that SO gives him will be worse than what I am asking.

    He backs me up on all accounts and SS knows that my word is just as much law as SO's.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:33 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • i dont think you should be handleing him, i think his father should. you should stay out of it unless ur talking to ur SO about it in private, JMO
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:35 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • i think you need to sit down and discuss your role with your step son and his father so that he understand that you are the adult and with his dad consent you have the right to ask him to do stuff and you expect it down now with out the grumbling
    motherfirefly1

    Answer by motherfirefly1 at 10:52 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • PURPULbutterfly...that only works as long as the bio parent is always there. The non-bio parent still needs to have some authority for when the Bio is gone.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:00 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I would discuss in private with the bio-parent the situation. After you have reached a decision on how this should be handled, have a family meeting and explain the rules to your SS.
    I am a firm believer when raising any child that they need to learn early on that for every action there is a consequence, this is the way the "real world" works. Let your SS know this and be ready to hand out consequences for his behavior that you and the bio-parent have discussed and agreed on.
    thismamacooks

    Answer by thismamacooks at 12:20 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • Let him know the rules and punish him when he doesnt them.
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 12:19 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Tell your husband that his son grumbling is not helping the situation and that you are not happy since it's affecting you the most.  Get your husband involved.

    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 6:59 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • The same way you'd handle your own. Tell him the rules. Tell him the consequences. Enforce the consequences whenever the rules aren't followed.
    justnancyb

    Answer by justnancyb at 4:13 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • honestly you need to discuss this with your DH, and the Bio mom if you can and show the child your all a united front , then sit him down and tell him what the rules are and whats going to happen if he doesnt follow the rules....good luck
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 9:14 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN