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2 Bumps

It obvious that she is trying to get him back....

I need advice on how not to explode with anger..... I am engaged and pregnant by a great man - the only problem we have is his ex wife . their divorce is going to be finale in like a month, and she ios set on keeping HIS LAST NAME. It is obvious she is only keeping it because she still loves him and is only keeping it because she thinks they will get back together...

She said it is because she wants the same last name as their kids but they are all girls ( I am giving him is first son !!!) which means their last names will change anyways.

GOD she makes me so angry, wouldnt this make you mad too ?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on Sep. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (26)
  • No it wouldn't make me mad. Why should her girls grow up with a different last name than their mom? Sounds like you have some issues like you expect him to not have a past.

    It's just a name after all!
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:30 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • it is VERY common for a woman to keep her ex husband's last name if there are children involved, you need to get over yourself
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 10:31 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • No.. not everyone changes their name back. She was in his life first, they obviously loved each other once & had children together. You have him now, so who cares what she does.?
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:32 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I wouldn't be mad and it is common for women to keep their last name when they have children. Sounds like your the one with the issues. Hope you don't voice this around his girls.
    tabekat

    Answer by tabekat at 10:32 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I think you are just being bitter. It would not bother me in the least if my DH had an ex wife, who wanted to keep the last name in order to have the same last name as their kids. ALSO, you must not realize that it's very difficult & time consuming to change your name back to your maiden name. It took my GF 10 years to change her last name back to her maiden name after divorce. The easiest way to change your last name after a divorce, is to get married again.

    Wouldn't you want to share your last name with your kids too? Even of you got divorced? I would let it go. Those are going to be your child's siblings. So, if i were you, i would try to be the bigger person & accept his ex & that she will be sharing the same last name. I think you are just being bitter & over paranoid. They are getting a divorce, why would she want him back? That is probably far from the truth of the matter. She is probably being honest about why.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:33 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • If you don't like the circumstance, then you should have given it a lot more thought before hooking up & getting pregnant with a dude who is in the process of divorce & has children with her. If you're going to marry this guy, you really need to let all that go. Otherwise, you are putting yourself & your relationship up for unnecessary drama.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:36 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I have a SO whose ex-wife kept the last name (because she loved the way it sounded or some crap). It's all about how he is with you now. She is past and you are present. I kept my ex's last name because I started thinking about all of the trouble it would take to change it back and all the people I'd have to call, (new credit/debit cards, SS card, bank accounts, work, mail, everything! ) It would be a nightmare. I say, let it go and move on to happy things and a wonderful future with your SO. Don't let her get to you, that is what she wants, to get under your skin and remind you that she was there first. Be the bigger person, stand your ground and love your man, if you continue to nag about her (things he can't control) it will just get old and drive him away. Don't give that woman that kind of power....
    VanessaMomof2

    Answer by VanessaMomof2 at 10:40 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • Maybe you should have waited until after the divorce to get with and have sex with and make a child with him. My mom kept my dad's last name. No one cares. Why should she have to change everything around and change last name from her kids name because you are a selfish petty person? Let it go and stop worrying about he wife. You know, she is still his wife until it's final. And it isn't law that she has to change it. Why don't you stop being so excited to be having a married mans first boy and concentrate on giving your baby a good life.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:42 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • Nope, I would not be upset. If me and my hubby divorce, i will be keeping his last name because I don't want a different name than OUR children. I hope you don't think that "his first son" will be any more special than his daughter(s.)
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 10:45 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I am wondering how great of a guy he can really be when he is married and has a knocked up fiance. Good luck with this you will need it.lol
    tabekat

    Answer by tabekat at 10:46 AM on Sep. 24, 2010

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