Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should kids have a say in if my husband and I divorce or if we stay together?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:01 AM on Jul. 2, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I am not sure how old these children are. If they are older their opinions will have more value in this adult decision. IMO this should be between a husband and a wife. As children tend to blame themselves for every problem in a family. I would try to NOT involve them as much as possible. Try to keep a united front and communicate with each other for the sake and well being of the kids. Even if you choose to divorce. good luck...i sure hope it all works out. Divorce is soooo hard on every one.

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 3:04 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • no child should have a say about the parent's relationship. of course they will have opinions, but the decision to stay together or not is completely between you and your husband.

    Answer by luvbeinhermom at 3:34 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • no

    Answer by MiraclesDHappen at 4:43 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • Kids should not have a say in whether you divorce or not. But they should be a reason why you and your husband should exhaust all avenues to try and salvage your marriage. Trust me divorce does not solve problems it only creates new ones. Your kids should be allowed to share their feelings. Perhaps in family counseling. I pray that you and your family are able to resolve this in a way that is good for all of you.

    Answer by luvmyoven at 6:31 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • i believe that you and your husband should decide together... make it mutual.
    if you are getting a divorce tell your children as a family, sit everyone down && talk it out and let the children speak. they will have questions (and tears)
    if your not getting a divorce... NEVVVER mention anything about the subject around the children.

    Answer by JUNiORSMAMi07 at 6:40 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • um NO they should not have that kind of say. If they are older and express that they want to live with one parent vs the other, it might be good to allow that. (assuming one parent isn't abusive).

    Growing up my parents did get a divorce and I did, like Mommascoocco said, blamed myself for their breakup. Of course I had nothing do with it: If I had my say at that time my parents would still be married, even though my dad was abusive.

    As I got older, I realized what my mom did was the best thing ever...but it took time.

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 8:16 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • in my opinion YES they do they was there 1st your kids didnt ask to be born depending on how old they are its not like they have a say in where they can live so if they dont feel comfortable around the husband there is some reason why they would want that im 22 and i tell my mom and dad they need to get a divorce but only cause i get tired of there bickerin and arguing .

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • The fact that you have children should influence the decision that you and your husband make. Your children should not be aware or included in decisions like this. When you have decided you are definitely divorcing, that is when you decide to tell your children, not ask them their opinion. That is really no less than emotional abuse because it will be so distressing to be involved in details like that. You are their parents and it will undermine any security they have that you know what to do, including taking care of them.

    Answer by manna1qd at 9:25 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • no because they dont see what u see in ur marriage they probably wont comprehend the situation like grown ups do...but of course keep them in mind in the custody battle

    Answer by ShYmAmA08 at 10:27 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • NOOOOO!!

    Answer by momto1727 at 11:09 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.