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3 Bumps

How do i deal with my 13 yr. old daughter wanting having a boyfriend ?

Well my daughter is only 13, she's very shy and quiet outside the home. but at home she's normally very creative. She loves to write stories bout young teen love and that worries me. The stories she writes are like Harlequien Romance novels, i dnt knw if she thinks of thz stuff on her own or becuz of jus how open sexuality is these days. you turn on tv and B A M M !! there's ad's bout condoms how big do you want your man's penis buy extenz, viagra, women in their underwear even men. it's just to easy for these kids to think they knw bout love and sex. My daughter is a very sweet young girl and i just dnt want her to fall into the category of statistics that young pregnacy, or sextually trasmitted disease. I am very open with her in conversations about Love, STD's and Sex. But i jus dnt knw if that's enuff. Someone please what should i do?

Answer Question
 
bLuStarr67

Asked by bLuStarr67 at 2:48 PM on Sep. 24, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (83 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I wouldn't stiffle her creativity, I think its normal for young girls to start fantasizing. I don't have girls but I remember when I was younger. Do you read the stories and then talk to her about them? That might be useful to her, also do you talk to her about getting a boyfriend and what she thinks about having sex before marriage and things of that nature. I really think talking is the key, I worry all the time as well about my boys becoming sexually active. All I know I can do is talk talk talk, ask ask ask...children will do things you don't know about, my boys are very open with me but even with that I'm sure there are things I just don't know. The one thing I hope is that when any of those moments come they hear my voice in their head and remember those conversations. Besides telling her to stop writing and her locking her up, I'm not sure what else there may be.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 3:06 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I was a grad student and my sons saw pictures of STDs in my text books and that impressed them! Knowing about birth control isn't enough. Role play with her about how to talk to a guy about it. Show her how to buy it. Talk to her about how she can go to planned parenthood on her own if she doesn't want you along. Condoms and foam are over 99% effective used together. However, teens are soooo fertile. I didn't have any girls.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:07 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • First off, if you havent already, I would have a long talk with her about sex and relationships. When you're watching tv together and those commercials come up, discuss them. Better yet, turn the channel or turn off the television. Girls (and boys, for that matter!) are growing up way too fast. Decide what age you think is appropriate for her to have a boyfriend and stick to your guns. If she wants to "date" at thirteen I'd probably insist on it being a chaperoned outing to dinner or the movies. When she's a little older maybe she can hang out in groups.
    Just because she's writing junior harlequin romances doesnt necessarily mean she's going to "live" that lifestyle, but do talk with her. Its definitely on her mind. Good luck!
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 3:08 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I have no idea but keep talking to her about everything. Don't be like my parents that for them sex didn't even exist. They never talk about it.
    sweetyazfl

    Answer by sweetyazfl at 3:09 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • what is the problem? just that she writes steamy stories? does she show them to you? hope you aren't sneaking peeks!
    someone has to write this stuff, maybe she'll become a famous author!

    But I agree with gailll - my younger brother got a hold of my human sexuality textbook, and once he saw the pics of some guy with warts so bad you couldn't even tell what it was, he was very fond of the condom idea!
    I'd go with Gaill's suggestions-
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 3:15 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I LOST MY VIRGINITY AT 14 SO YOU NEED TO TALK TO HER ABOUT EVERYTHING. IT HAPPENS YOUNGER THESE DAYS ALSO MY FRIENDS COUSIN IS PREGNANT AND SHE IS 12.
    AWebber212

    Answer by AWebber212 at 3:23 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • Just keep talking to her about everything I mean that is all you can really do because if she really wants to do something she will with or without you knowing about it. So just keep talking to her about everything and that should help I mean it helped me alot. And I agree show her pix of some of the STD's and trust me if she does do anything she will protected even if it is just out of fear of the STD's.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 7:08 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • At your daughters age, she should have already had the STD, protection, pregnancy talk in health class. The day my son saw the STD video in health class, was the day he said " I am NOT having sex until I am atleast 21...that cauliflower looking disease is just nasty. When I have sex, I am wearing 2 condoms!!" Made my day!! I am so glad my son's school did those talks, because he knows a lot more than I learned in school.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:55 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • When my son went to junior high orientation, the counselor stood in front of the entire class and their parents and said that consensual sexual activity would be reported to the police - made no bones about it - shocked the kids, and is making an impact.
    Maureenmich

    Answer by Maureenmich at 11:16 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • which cauliflower looking disease..cause in my kids just show me Blue Waffle..an it was gross...
    FreeSpriT4eva

    Answer by FreeSpriT4eva at 11:29 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

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