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To all stay at home American moms,HELP, please tell me how does your husband treat you financially?

My husband refused to give me money for gas today!!
My husband of 3 years keeps telling me that marriage in America is different than in my country that we (husband & wife) are equal and he can't pay for me for anything other than room and board (sometimes food) not even gas or winter clothes for my 2 girls and that it is not his job to do any household work or cook or put the girls to sleep not even have dinner with us every night.
Note: I have been surviving on gifts from family & friends overseas from which I pay for all my & my girls activities, cell phone, food, clothing and toys etc..!!!
Note: He works 7 days a week day and night...he is a free bird never even calls when he is late!! and ALWAYS SAYS we don't have money :)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on Oct. 20, 2008 in Money & Work

Answers (14)
  • Well, marriage is a partnership. The way I see it, he works and brings in the money to support our family, (that includes me and the babe). Actually, in my house The Hubs brings home the paycheck and I manage it; I pay the bills, I buy the groceries and clothes, I make sure we have enough for gas... There's never anything as condescending as, "you can't have my money" or an attitude that I'm nothing more than his house keeper. And he respects me enough to let me know when he's gonna be late.
    Generally speaking, equality and respect are highly valued in marriage across America.

    Answer by jellyphish at 10:11 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • In my husband's eyes I am a Princess and I deserve to be treated like one. He gives me money for anything. In addition, he helps with the kids and does housework. We entered into the marriage as partners not as individuals.

    I am concerned for you and your girls. These behaviors remind me of the behaviors my ex-husband had with me. He was very controlling and abusive to me. If you think you maybe in a Domestic Violence situation call 1-800-799-SAFE.


    Answer by tinkerbell76 at 10:13 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • I agree with tinkerbell76. He shouldn't treat you like that. He has no right. You are his wife, not his slave.

    Answer by SaferAtHome at 10:23 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • I know the first poster said there's no such thing as my money, but there has to be a limit. Like if he brings home $1000 check, you definitely can't just go out and spend that on shopping, or maybe you're driving around a lot and you already had gas allowance, you know what I mean? Maybe you guys really are broke and all he knows is the money isn't around long enough. idk we only heard your side of the story.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • That is NOT a husband....not even close... You are more than welcome to come on over to the freedom land..AMERICA.

    Answer by BusinessMom123 at 10:24 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Sounds like your husband has his own way of what a marriage is...the thing is marriage should be 50/50 He should help you out with whatever you need. I also agree with Tinkerbell! Good luck!

    Answer by businesswife1 at 10:26 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Hellz yeah America! Your husband works all day, you have a right to be a SAHM and spend all of his hard earned money! Go usa!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • :( sorry. I get whatever i want and so does my husband. we never fighth about money. if i say my daughter needs it she gets it. some men are so mean regardless of where thay are from :(

    Answer by ryanlynn at 10:51 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • My DH has NEVER signed one of his own paychecks. I always do it. He doesnt ask for money, or ask where I spend money. He doesnt care. I go to College our daughter is in daycare while I am at school. He really never knows what I buy, and doesnt ask. As long as the bills are paid he could care less. We dont want for anything, he makes great money. Every now and then he asks how much money we have and I ask him how much he needs and he tells me and I go to the bank and pull it out for him. He doesnt ask me for money mind you, he just likes to know from time to time where we are money wise. Not sure why He knows we dont have to worry about money, etc. He would NEVER tell me I couldn't spend any money. I take care of the house, the errands, the chores, the dog, the baby, everything for him, plus I am a full-time college student. There is no such thing in this house as "my money" Marriage is a partnership, 50/50.

    Answer by MyMayBaby_Chloe at 11:55 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • This has NOTHING to do with you being a SAHM and everything to do with him being a controlling jerk.

    If a husband and wife are EQUAL then BOTH names are on the bank account and you don't need to go to him for can get it yourself.

    From what you write, you are not his wife. You're his maid. Now consider if you really want the job. Because you have a crap boss.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:18 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

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