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what are you suppose to do

my boyfriends an alcohlic he been drink sence ive know him i have a 4 month old kid i love my boyfirend more than anything i just dont know what to do anymore everyday he ask me if i am cheating on him god no i would never but no matter what i tell him he still asks it starting to get on my nerves really bad i just want to put me head throw the wall he says he just joking around i really dont think he cheafting on me but what the hell else could it be

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Cheyanne-mom

Asked by Cheyanne-mom at 10:08 PM on Oct. 20, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • You have a little girl to worry about do you want her to grow up seeing her father like this. I'm trying not to bash I just don't understand why you would want your daughter growing up thinking this is what a husband/father is supposed to be like this. Anyways good luck and I hope it all works out for you.
    little.miss.mom

    Answer by little.miss.mom at 10:14 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Well, It wont change unless he gets professional help. I do assure you on that. You have to find the strength on whatever you decide to do But If you two don't get the help that you need, it will only get worse & your child will soon only get older to see what is happening. Stop tormenting yourself & do what is best for you & your family. He needs to get his act straight & be the daddy that he could be for that little one of his. I wish the best!! good luck

    onespecialmom

    Answer by onespecialmom at 10:17 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • sweetheart, you need to get out once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. I lived with one for 13 yrs. He started with saying I'm cheating and he was being emotionally abusive to myself and my daughters. get out while you are young. just remember a leopard never changes its spots. please stay safe. does he drink from am to pm. mine used to 24-7. So, i know what you are going through. Stay safe
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • I'm sincerely sorry that you're going through this. You really need to sit your boyfriend down & talk to him about his drinking problem. Tell him that you don't want your daughter exposed to this lifestyle any longer & that he needs to be a better example (not to mention to horrible effects it has on his health). Please remember, though, that you can't help someone who doesn't want help. If he refuses to get help & get control over this addiction, then you really need to get out-- for your daughter's sake. I know it will be difficult either way, but something's gotta give. Good luck!
    heather.huckaby

    Answer by heather.huckaby at 10:26 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • kick the loser to the curb. you don't love him and he doesn't love you. your both thrive on each other cause you both have issues that haven't been resolved and feed off each other. so until you get healthy all you'll ever attract is loser alcoholics. sorry if i was harsh but that is what i have learned. he won't listen as long as he is a drunk. so forget him and get counseling for yourself.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 10:47 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • Have you checked into a group like Al-Anon? You can attend those meetings even if he is still drinking. They teach you how to take care of YOU (and your daughter) with or without his drinking. They will give you the strength to make the changes you need to make. No matter what he does, you need to put yourself and your daughter first in this situation. Good luck to you through this difficult time.
    EmilyArti

    Answer by EmilyArti at 11:06 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • What else could it be? It could be that he knows it's no picnic living with an alcoholic, and he's feeling insecure because he feels like he doesn't deserve you.

    I strongly recommend a support group, like Al-Anon for you and I also suggest that you insist he gets some kind of help for himself. Let him know that you love him, and want a life with him, but you can't live like this and more importantly, you can't allow your child to live this way either.

    I wish you all the best. It's a difficult situation, but not an unbeatable one.
    jespeach

    Answer by jespeach at 11:19 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • "Once an alcoholic..." NOT TRUE! I was HEAVY drinker for LONG time, took almost losing family to get to me. People can change, but need a reason. As long as you stay, DH has no reason. Sounds like you're co-dependent, NOT good for Child. You need to consider if you're providing skills to grow up healthy. If not, get help for yourself. You can't get help for DH, only he can. It WON'T be easy; but since he's always been this way as long as you've known him, he already knows it's fine with you. Do you REALLY want to change? That's what's second most important here. The first is, What will you do to take care of Child; or do you love Alkie more than Child? Because that's what it sounds like. Sorry to sound rough; I really don't mean to be insensitive. But this is a crucial matter, and you need some Truth coming your way! Your Child AND YOU deserve BETTER! And it's OKAY to get it! Blessings!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

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