Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Sex with husband not cutting it. adult content

I have been married for 4 years, I have a wonderful 1 year old daughter and my husband is in the army, and we are doing well financially. My husband is wonderful and I love him very much but the problem is I have never had an orgasm while we were having sex. He doesnt know this. I am afraid to tell him and hurt his ego, but it has been bothering me lately. He does do other activities, but I still wonder. Idk what to do. I love and adore my husband but I do want to hurt him by telling him the truth.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:54 PM on Sep. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • The truth is always better. Join the Sex Tips Group and learn a lot of options and help tips.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 4:56 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • Spice it up in the bedroom. Introduce new things.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:57 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • allot of ladies never orgasm from vaginal alone. I for one have to have clitoral or anal stimulation to be able to climax. Not being able to do so bothered my hubby until i showed him the studies that show only 1 in 7 ladies can climax from vaginal alone. We use cock rings allot, they have a rabit on them that stimulates yu while having vaginal.
    wildwiccan83

    Answer by wildwiccan83 at 4:58 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • Unfortunately it is much more challenging for a woman to have an orgasm than it is for a man. Most women don't even have one until they're in or near their 30's. I assume, based on what you said that you have good communication. If this is so I would have a little chat with him on trying some new things in the bedroom. I don't think it's necessary to tell him that you've never had one, unless he asks then I wouldn't lie. Men's feelings get hurt very easily. Ask yourself what you think will help and suggest it to him. Make him excited about doing new things and you can work on getting what you need at the same time.
    OneAndAHalfKids

    Answer by OneAndAHalfKids at 5:00 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • My policy.. Always be honest.. If he doesn't know that you aren't being pleasured, much less reaching orgasm, how can he know that he needs to work with you to change what's happening in the bedroom.

    What brings you to orgasm? What gets you off?

    Most women do not orgasm from penetration alone. They need clirtoral &/or g-spot stimulation in order to orgasm.. Also, many women have their own "Thing" that gets them off that has to do with different body parts or actions.. So in order for you to reach orgasm, these things ( clit stimulation, g-spot stimulation, and any special things you need if you have any) need to be incorporated into your sex life.

    If he doesn't know what he's doing isn't working.. If you don't tell him so... He will continue doing what he's doing because he's under the impression that you like it.. Talk to him.. Be honest with him.. Explore and work together in order to insure that you get yours.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:01 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • He isnt going to know unless you tell him. Pick a time when both of you are in a good mood. Or when you are together, move his hand to a place and tell him exactly what you want. He loves you and will want to please you.
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 5:01 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • well you cant fake it forever. you need to honest
    ayneka

    Answer by ayneka at 5:10 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • If you do not tell him how will it ever change, guide him into what you want.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:15 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I am in the same situation and I haven't said anything for years, because my husband overreacts to things like this. I'd actually rather just have lousy sex than crush his already fragile ego. Not a popular solution but it works for me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I would tell him. He needs to know what he's doing isn't working so he can work on changing it. Maybe you don't tell him you have climxed, but tell him you want to try some new things. Try to do things that you KNOW will help you to climax. Plus, trust me, if the orgasm happens while he is "inside" he WILL know the difference.
    -Ashley
    spiritguide_23

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 6:47 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.