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help here!!

ok my 4 year old since have DS#2 keeps acting out. He's not listening at all. He knows to stay out of mommy & daddy's room, he keeps going in there and taking my jewelry, he's throwing things, yelling, coloring on walls, taking food without permission, sneaking things. I assume he is doing all of this to get attention. My problem is I am sick of yelling at him. I feel horrible because I constantly am. We try to not spank in our household but I'm getting to the point I don't know what to do. How can I use positive reinforcement? I've never had to really ever punish him in his life. Ideas????

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travisnowensmom

Asked by travisnowensmom at 5:20 PM on Sep. 24, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 14 (1,379 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • ok.... he is 4. you need to realize that all of the things you have mentiond are normal developmetaly appropriate actions for a child that age.... it may have NOTHING to do with him having a new sibling. it may be that he has just enterd a new stage in his development. the most esential thing you need to do is decide on a plan of action and be consistent. also when he does the appropriate response you should make sure to mention that you noticed and how much you like it when he does it that way. also a few minuets with him that are just him and mom time goes a long way. ( it can be as simple as a story or coloring a page together. ) Try not to yell. it really does not help him learn and may actualy make the matter worse. the first 5 years of a childs life determine everything that follows. you are teaching him . is that what you want him to do when he is frustrated? or angry? model what you want him to do
    allforthelove

    Answer by allforthelove at 5:40 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • When he does something good brag on him. For instance if he puts a toys away or asks before entering your room make a big deal out of it. Tell him you are so happy he's a big boy and you are so proud of whatever he did.

    When he colors on the walls or throws things have him help clean it up. We do this with my almost 3 year old. If he doesn't help he gets time out. It makes him think twice before he does it again.

    That's about all the advice I have. Hang in there!
    Krystal.Ingalls

    Answer by Krystal.Ingalls at 5:40 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • thanks ladies. and no I don't want him to grow up yelling when he gets angry or frustrated. I have noticed in the last week he yells when he gets mad. I'm sure it's because I am yelling at him. I hate yelling at him. When I do I start crying and feel like a horrible mom. I will try anything.
    travisnowensmom

    Comment by travisnowensmom (original poster) at 5:44 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • My dad says when I was little I'd been having some behavioral problems. He says that one day he sat down and talked to me and said "if you want some attention you don't have to do bad stuff, just come to me and say 'daddy I need a hug'". According to him after that I was much better behaved and would randomly come running in from playing out side, say "daddy I need a hug", get my hug and run off to play again.
    coder_chick

    Answer by coder_chick at 5:53 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • Stop yelling; yelling teaches yelling. (this was a HUGE-ASS lesson for me, trust me, I understand!!)

    You have locks on your doors?
    Radarma

    Answer by Radarma at 7:03 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

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