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How does your teen balance school (all A's), extra curricular activities, family, social life and work? Job stress and drama already...

My DD, 16, got her 1st job & has been at it 3 weeks. Not happy, doesn't like the job (caterer, butcher retail shop, new, clean nicely decorated). She does alot of cooking/packaging & preparing foods. Was supposed to meet her boyfriend at a HS football game, but had to stay late & wash dishes. This is the busy season there. She told me she doesn't have enough time for everything >doing all the above & something about "new friends" which I believe are BFs friends (not the brightest bunch & none have jobs and one couple I know is sexually active-the girl used to hate my DD in grade school!). My DDs the only one of her friends that has a job, tho most were looking over the summer. She's been managing to come home & go to 16th bday parties & sleepovers, but she's tired. Of course BF say she shouldn't be miserable, but my DH wants her to stick with it. It is 1/10th of a mile from our house so she can walk or bike, no license yet.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Sep. 24, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • Honestly I would never allow my child to be that burdened with so much. I beleive that is one of the major problems in our society.. Yes Kids want to play sports etc.. But they don't have to be super stars.. They need to live their CHILDHOOD as a Kid... not as a want to be hall of famer

    I would allow one after school activity a year, Football or Softball.... NOT BOTH

    Be on the Sadd, Chess team, School paper.... PICK one... but if you pick school paper... you cant have a sport.. etc.
    Mommy isn't a chauffer, and Your not a robot.. We both need down time.. Prioritize... pick the IMPORTANT ONE.. and lets have a FAMILY LIFE ASIDE FROM RUNNING FROM ONE EVENT TO ANOTHER..
    MAKEMYDAY101

    Answer by MAKEMYDAY101 at 11:17 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • That's tough and we haven't hit that mark yet. I keep telling my 16 yr old he needs to start looking for a job. He doesn't have a girlfriend but he does have a lot of extra curriclar activites (football practice & games, Drama practice, academic decathalon, baseball games, and swing choir) So during the week he's pretty much buried in activity, I'm hoping he can find something part time on weekends.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:17 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • When I was in school, I had to work. I also kept my grades up, was involved in after school activities, etc. It was HARD, but I didn't have a choice - well, I could have let my grades slip, or stop doing my extracurricular stuff, but I had to have the job - we needed the money.

    But, my dh and I are not in that position with our kids. We have told our teens that they don't need to have a job, as long as they're keeping their grades up and are involved in extracurricular stuff, which they are. (They both play sports, are Honor Roll while taking college prep and AP classes, NHS, and involved in Scouts and church stuff.) My ds worked a summer as a counselor at a camp, and he really wanted a job this past summer, so we let him get one. But, once school started, it was too much, so we made him quit.

    He was going to school, from that to football, from there to work, getting home at 9:30 to eat and do homework. Too much!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:21 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • I should add, while I would seriously consider letting her quit her job, I would make it clear that it's not so that she can spend all her time hanging around her bf and these "new friends"....

    Do you think that maybe the reason that the bf wants her to quit is so that she can just run around and hang out all the time, and that maybe the reason your dh doesn't want her to quit is because he doesn't like the bf, and thinks the job is a good way to keep them apart? Not slamming on either one of them here, just wondering :-)

    Because if so, then, again, like I said, I would consider letting her quit, but make sure she knows that it doesn't mean that she's going to get to spend any more time with him than she already does...
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:24 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • My youngest daughter will be 20 in a few days. When she was in highschool she was in cheerleading, on SADD, a member of the National Honor Society, a member of Who's Who Among American High School Students, had a boyfriend and a part-time job. She has to drive 20 miles to the job. She was on the honor roll (that's how she quailified for the other honors). She still had friends, but she spent free time with them on weekends, not so much over the weekdays. The friends who didn't have jobs didn't seem to have much ambition to do anything, she pulled away from these friends. I know it may seem like you daughter is doing a lot, but nothing wrong with her working a part-time job. Kids these days need to have a good work ethic and too many of them don't. Quitting her job would just give her more time to spend with the boyfriend and the other friends who have no jobs, what benefit would that have for her in the long run?
    pegleg63

    Answer by pegleg63 at 11:38 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • my 19 yr old worked on weekends and played basketball during the week and was captain, she was also in 2 youth groups. She did just fine and now is in college holding down 2 jobs and without a car.
    my 17 yr old has 2 jobs in the summer but one during the school year. She is also in 2 youth groups. Both girls work their schedules around activities that are important to them and they don't work in places that make them unhappy. I would never want them to be at a workplace that makes them work to much or makes them unhappy..
    It really depends on the kid though I have a friend who has an 18 yr who has never held down a job and the kid acts like school and work is to overwhelming, even during the summer a job was too much...so it really does depend on the kid and their attitude.
    togo90210

    Answer by togo90210 at 11:41 PM on Sep. 24, 2010

  • Cut back her work hrs and help her with a schedule to plan everything out and she where she has more or less time to spare.
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 12:49 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • My children play sports are in multiple different activities. But we do not allow them to have a job. They are by no means lazy. Their current job is school and grades if grades fall below a 3.2 they may not play on sports. That is the school rule.
    martinmommy26

    Answer by martinmommy26 at 8:50 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • My child's job is to succeed in school and the one or two after school activities they choose to do - such as Marching and Concert bands. There is plenty of time for a job when they finish all their schooling.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:32 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • My daughter's high school strongly discourages after school jobs, preferring teens participate in activities that look great on a college application.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:37 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

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