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How can i calm my husband down when he's angry?

He has a temper never gets physical but his language is unexceptable and i need ways help him calm down anyone else dealing with this and have found techniques

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:17 AM on Sep. 25, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I would want to check that he isn't using the anger as a form of control, or a workup to domestic violence -- having anger doesn't mean that is the case, but it is a possibility to watch out for in your relationship. If he is trying to control you by going out of control -- then there is a whole different scary issue.

    Also, I would want to ask myself do I communicate well with him. Am I using blaming words or statements which often start with the word You...you should have...you must have...you didn't...because sometimes when our judgments come out in our communication the other person shuts down or gets upset.

    I agree with many others though -- it is not your job to calm him down. However, it is your job not to buy into it. To make sure you are safe, but not to enable him by playing the peacemaker role or avoiding him. I would talk to him when he is in a good mood about how it makes you feel & start from there.
    Chandra C.

    Answer by Chandra C. at 6:03 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • It's not your job to calm him down, he should calm himself down. The best technique I've found is to tell him that his behavior is unacceptable, then walk out the door and don't come back until he's ready to act like an adult.
    popcornlover

    Answer by popcornlover at 2:27 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I thinl that this isn't your problem but your hubby's problem and if he wants to change this then he has to find something that can be said or done when he is angry. I see that you just want to help him but he needs to reach out to you and say when i get angry could you please............................ He is a grown man and he needs to control his mouth and reactions. GL to you and your hubby have him tell you what would help him.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 2:30 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • shutting up helps--its something i cant seem to do lol ..
    Kittty_Katt

    Answer by Kittty_Katt at 10:47 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • He sounds like he needs anger management. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 2:24 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • It's really more about him needing to consider taking some anger management classes. It's really not you. But you can choose to ignore him and just walk away so that you will not say something that escalates the problem.

    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 2:25 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • i just dont talk to him....
    neng999

    Answer by neng999 at 3:59 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • My husband is a quick to yell type of guy so I totally know how you feel. Are you at the stage yet where you dont even want to talk to him because you are not sure what will set him off? That's something to look forward to! (sarcasm)
    Anyway - the only thing that can help your husband is himself. If he doesnt think he has a problem he is going to change. Even if you tell him he has a problem he may not change. So not much of an answer but you are not alone. Sometimes that helps.
    slcurry

    Answer by slcurry at 6:55 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

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