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2 Bumps

I have issues?

who doesn't!!!! but one of mine is these horific images that come back to haunt me from my past i did a lot of irresponsible things and experienced a lot of things that stole my innocence a lot faster then it should have, my husband is still so innocent and immature it's hard, he doesn't get me on a deep level and has no idea what the world i experienced is like i envy him and yet i get mad at him cause little issues are so big to him he has no idea what life outside his shelttered life is like. How do I deal? I'm angry and envious, and i feel misunderstood or not understood at all, I'm in a different place right now a good place but the memories and flash backs are still their how do i bury them? And how do I connect with my husband on a new level our own level?


Asked by Proverbs3127 at 2:35 AM on Sep. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (744 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • He's not concerned about hardships you faced growing up/in your past? He's not concerned about things that are causing you so much distress? He needs a good kick in the ass as much as you need a good therapist!
    You don't need to bury your past, it will only come back. And it would still be there anyway. You have to come to terms with it, that's the only way. You need therapy alone, and you both need marriage therapy. He needs to be brought up to speed here.
    Maybe he senses your frustration at his innocence and immaturity, and he doesn't appreciate that, so he shuts down? Prob is, you aren't in the position to worry about his feelings on this, and he's a guy, and ridiculous as it is, he's sensitive about this.
    Ya'll need therapy. I don't suggest a book for this. He needs to understand you better, and be there for you and be WITH you.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:52 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Maybe you need to look into some professional help for yourself and that will also help you and hubby to be on the same level. It's amazing what can come out getting professional help and how much you will see a difference in yourself and your relationship. The secret is to find someone that you TRUST and that you can open up to. It will not just happened the minute you walk into a office you have to be able to get to see what there beliefs are and give the person a good 6-9 weeks and if it's just not working out then find someone else. GL to momma things will happen when you find the right person.

    Answer by raemommy at 2:44 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • OMG, I feel like I am going through the SAME thing... we are like night and day and it causes a lot of conflicts sometimes.. our mentalities are sooo different... so much when it comes to parenting.. he doesn't get that I grew up 100% different them him and I want my son raised a certain way..certain things I want him and don't want him experinced too...

    Have you ever tried coming to him and telling his exactly this?? The best thing for a relationship is communication.. you have to be able to talk to and express yourselves to each other.. at the same time you both have to listen and be open to each other...I don't think you can ever "bury" your past but you be strengthned from it and lot let it rule you... just know that is not how your life is anymore, you don't have to deal with it all.. you are in a new place, a good one...that;s whats always helped me...

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 3:22 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • thank you for your advice I wasn't sure how to go about finding the right help

    Comment by Proverbs3127 (original poster) at 2:46 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I try and communicate with him not exactly about this but he doesn't seem to be to conserned about it either i tried to talk to him about certain things and they go right over his head cause he has never experienced anything like it to compare and relate to, oh and the raising of our child i'm right their with you it's hard like you said a certain way,

    Comment by Proverbs3127 (original poster) at 3:27 AM on Sep. 25, 2010