Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How do I begin the process of ending my marriage. I feel I've lost this battle, I only make $600 a month, husband has always supported me and dd. I don't want to ask family for help and I don't have friends. 20 years of marriage over lies, gambling, porno, and misuse of money..

All I ever asked was to have a family and to grow old together. For twenty years I gave him my entire 1000%, made him lunches, I did everything around the house inside and out, always taking care of daughter, I always took care of his money giving up things I wanted so he could have money for himself. All he ever did was work and go have fun and spend money we really never had. And the worst feeling is that I love him still and it's so painful but he has put me through hell because now I can't trust him. How do I let him know I'm serious about what is happening to our marriage?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:11 AM on Sep. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Have you tried counseling? Or is it beyond that? If it is, you will need to swallow your pride a bit & lean on family. That's what family is for. Not just for you, but your child too. Then you can go back to school & look for a better paying job. It can be done - trust me. My parents divorced after 20+ yrs of marriage, so I know how hard this is. Even tho both have since remarried, I know there's still a little spark there. That's normal. That person had a part of your heart for a very long time, & they stay there- but get moved to a different place, so you are able to move on w/ your life. Good luck to you all.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:18 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Talk with a lawyer about rights and procedures.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:36 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • You do know that all the money technically belongs to both of you right? It's not his money. You being home and taking care of things at home is what enables him to go out and be the breadwinner.
    Syphon

    Answer by Syphon at 8:13 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Read Marriage in the Red by Dr. Levi Skipper
    svdbygrace

    Answer by svdbygrace at 8:33 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • My sister did it. You can, too. Except she did it having NOT worked, and having 2 young kids. You have to learn to ask for help, pp is right, it's not just for you but for your dd, too. You did not ask for this. You did not ask for this man to do this to you. But if you allow him to keep doing it, then that's different. You gave him enough, don't give him everything you possibly have.
    Maybe if you find a place to live, file for separation and support from him and leave, he may see what he's done. Maybe he will try and do what's necessary to change to be the man you need him to be. But right now, he's not. And he just won't be if he thinks this is how it's working.
    Do meet with an attorney though. You have more rights then you think you do. More avenues to choose from, I'm sure.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:35 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.